Margie - your response to Jim was well put. I responded in somewhat the
same way.I sometimes think if we could get angry at Mr. PD, it would keep
us from getting angry with each other an even at ourselves for our lack
of being able to "solve" this dilema. Hang in there. You're going to
need all your energy fo future days. My best to your husband. Jo Ann -
Houston
On Thu, 30 Dec 1999 11:48:22 EST Dick Swindler
<[log in to unmask]> writes:
>Jim -
>
>I don't think the oldtimers have forgotten what it's like to be
>scared, etc.
>I have a theory about the frequent quarrels that erupt. My theory is
>that PD
>is so darned difficult to deal with that both PWP and caregivers are
>frustrated and angry pretty darned often. Mr. Parkinson has taken up
>residence in my home, uninvited, and made my life and my husband's
>much more
>difficult than it has to be, and taken a toll on our patience, our
>family
>life, our pocketbook, etc.
>
> There are days that I use every ounce of my patience, as caregiver,
>not to
>scream at the sheer difficulty of living with a PWP. No doubt Dick is
>equally frustrated at being the PWP, with all the difficulties this
>entails.
>If this were a temporary condition and I knew there'd be improvement
>within a
>week or a month, I could grit my teeth and get through it. But
>knowing that
>today is as good as it gets makes it a lot more difficult - at least
>on my
>not-so-good days.
>
> There are times I can sit back and think about how fortunate we are
>to live
>in this country, where the medical help is so much better than if we
>lived
>many other places. And to live comfortably, with all the modern
>conveniences. I can also appreciate the fact that Dick is doing
>exceptionally well for someone who has had PD for 18 years. I do
>admire his
>determination to hang in there and not let PD stop him, no matter how
>difficult some things are for him. Nevertheless, I'm having to do
>things, or
>learn to do things, that I wouldn't have expected to do in the normal
>course
>of events. I'm all too human, and there are times that I'm simply
>seeing the
>half-empty glass, and feel the anger and frustration of dealing with
>the
>day-to-day losses and difficulties PD has brought into our lives.
>Dick faces
>having to give up control or responsibility for things he always
>expected to
>take care of, and I'm having to do, or learn to do, those things in
>his
>place, on top of the things I've always taken care of, at a time in my
>life
>when I'm older and have less energy and stamina.
>
>It's at those "half-empty" times that something someone says or writes
>is
>likely to hit me wrong, and, being unable to strike out at the
>uninvited and
>unwelcome Mr. Parkinson, I find myself taking my anger and frustration
>out on
>the hapless person who happened to cross my path at the wrong time.
>
>This has been pretty long, and I don't know if I've managed to make my
>point
>after all this. I just think that we're all operating at such a high
>level
>of stress and difficulty at all times that we don't have the tolerance
>for
>each other that we'd have had in other circumstances. I suspect we're
>all
>nice people underneath it all - or used to be, pre-PD. Hang in there
>and
>don't let the quarrels get in the way of the very real help and
>support this
>list brings.
>
>Margie Swindler
