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In addition to what Margie expressed so well is the fact that as a team of a PWP and a CG, we often take out our frustrations and anger at each other. Perhaps, I should not try to sense what a single PWP might feel and express, but I believe that were I a single PWP, I'd explode and pick on others every chance I'd have. At this point, I strive to ignore whatever might seem as provocations. This list is important for a great many reasons and no individuals should diminish that for any reasons. Michel Margosis 'Carpe Diem' Dick Swindler wrote: > I don't think the oldtimers have forgotten what it's like to be scared, etc. > I have a theory about the frequent quarrels that erupt. My theory is that PD > is so darned difficult to deal with that both PWP and caregivers are > frustrated and angry pretty darned often. Mr. Parkinson has taken up > residence in my home, uninvited, and made my life and my husband's much more > difficult than it has to be, and taken a toll on our patience, our family > life, our pocketbook, etc. > > There are days that I use every ounce of my patience, as caregiver, not to > scream at the sheer difficulty of living with a PWP. No doubt Dick is > equally frustrated at being the PWP, with all the difficulties this entails. > If this were a temporary condition and I knew there'd be improvement within a > week or a month, I could grit my teeth and get through it. But knowing that > today is as good as it gets makes it a lot more difficult - at least on my > not-so-good days. > > There are times I can sit back and think about how fortunate we are to live > in this country, where the medical help is so much better than if we lived > many other places. And to live comfortably, with all the modern > conveniences. I can also appreciate the fact that Dick is doing > exceptionally well for someone who has had PD for 18 years. I do admire his > determination to hang in there and not let PD stop him, no matter how > difficult some things are for him. Nevertheless, I'm having to do things, or > learn to do things, that I wouldn't have expected to do in the normal course > of events. I'm all too human, and there are times that I'm simply seeing the > half-empty glass, and feel the anger and frustration of dealing with the > day-to-day losses and difficulties PD has brought into our lives. Dick faces > having to give up control or responsibility for things he always expected to > take care of, and I'm having to do, or learn to do, those things in his > place, on top of the things I've always taken care of, at a time in my life > when I'm older and have less energy and stamina. > > It's at those "half-empty" times that something someone says or writes is > likely to hit me wrong, and, being unable to strike out at the uninvited and > unwelcome Mr. Parkinson, I find myself taking my anger and frustration out on > the hapless person who happened to cross my path at the wrong time. > > This has been pretty long, and I don't know if I've managed to make my point > after all this. I just think that we're all operating at such a high level > of stress and difficulty at all times that we don't have the tolerance for > each other that we'd have had in other circumstances. I suspect we're all > nice people underneath it all - or used to be, pre-PD. Hang in there and > don't let the quarrels get in the way of the very real help and support this > list brings. > > Margie Swindler