For all you cat lovers, and the dog lovers get equal time!


> Cat Haikus
>
> You never feed me.
> Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
> That will show you.
>
> You must scratch me there!
> Yes, above my tail! Behold,
> Elevator butt.
>
> I need a new toy.
> Tail of black dog keeps good time.
> Pounce! good dog! good dog!
>
> The rule for today:
> Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
> New rule tomorrow.
>
> In deep sleep hear sound
> Cat throwup hairball somewhere
> Will find in morning
>
> Grace personified,
> I leap into the window.
> I meant to do that.
>
> Blur of motion, then --
> Silence, me, a paper bag.
> What is so funny?
>
> The mighty hunter
> Returns with gifts of plump birds --
> Your foot just squashed one
>
> You're always typing.
> Well, let's see you ignore my
> Sitting on your hands.
>
> My small cardboard box.
> You cannot see me if I
> Can hide my head.
>
> Terrible battle.
> I fought for hours. Come and see!
> What's a 'term paper'?
>
> Kitty likes plastic
> Confuses for litter box
> Shouldn't leave around
>
> Small brave carnivores
> Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
> Fear vacuum cleaner
>
> Want to trim my claws?
> Don't even think about it!
> My cries will wake dead.
>
> I want to be close
> To you. Can I fit my head
> inside your armpit?
>
> Want to go outside.
> Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
> Let me back inside!
>
> Oh no! Big One
> has been trapped by newspaper!
> Cat to the rescue!
>
> Cats meow out of angst
> "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
> We could break so much!"
>
> Litter box not here
> You must have moved it again
> I'll go in the sink.
>
> The Big Ones snore now
> Every room is dark and cold
> Time for "Cup Hockey"
>
> We're almost equals
> I purr to show I love you
> Want to smell my butt?
>
> ***********************
>
>       Dog Haikus
>
> I love my master;
> Thus I perfume myself with
> This rotten squirrel.
>
> I lie belly-up
> In the sunshine, happier
> Than you'll ever be.
>
> Today I have sniffed
> Twelve dog butts. I celebrate
> By licking your face.
>
> I sound the alarm!
> Paperboy! He'll kill us all!
> Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
>
> I sound the alarm!
> Garbage man! He'll kill us all!
> Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
>
> How do I love thee?
> The ways are as many as
> My hairs on the rug.
>
> My human is home!
> I am so ecstatic I have
> Made him a puddle.
>
> I Hate my choke chain.
> Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
> Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
>
> Look in these eyes and
> Deny it. No human could
> Love you more than me.
>
> The cat is not all
> Bad--she fills the litter box
> With sweet Tootsie Rolls.
>
> Dig under fence--why?
> Because it's there. Because it's
> There. Because it's there.
>
> I am your best friend,
> Now, forever, and always
> When you are eating.
>
> You may call them fleas,
> But they are far more--I call
> Them a vocation.
>
>