You do have an amazing ability to use Japanese style verse to make me laugh
...Thanks I needed it today too..

*seattle*  Audrey   friend of pwp aussie  John 49/42/38?

----- Original Message -----
From: Hawkins, Darwin <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, April 27, 2000 11:52 AM
Subject: NONPD: Pet Haikus


> For all you cat lovers, and the dog lovers get equal time!
>
>
> > Cat Haikus
> >
> > You never feed me.
> > Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
> > That will show you.
> >
> > You must scratch me there!
> > Yes, above my tail! Behold,
> > Elevator butt.
> >
> > I need a new toy.
> > Tail of black dog keeps good time.
> > Pounce! good dog! good dog!
> >
> > The rule for today:
> > Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
> > New rule tomorrow.
> >
> > In deep sleep hear sound
> > Cat throwup hairball somewhere
> > Will find in morning
> >
> > Grace personified,
> > I leap into the window.
> > I meant to do that.
> >
> > Blur of motion, then --
> > Silence, me, a paper bag.
> > What is so funny?
> >
> > The mighty hunter
> > Returns with gifts of plump birds --
> > Your foot just squashed one
> >
> > You're always typing.
> > Well, let's see you ignore my
> > Sitting on your hands.
> >
> > My small cardboard box.
> > You cannot see me if I
> > Can hide my head.
> >
> > Terrible battle.
> > I fought for hours. Come and see!
> > What's a 'term paper'?
> >
> > Kitty likes plastic
> > Confuses for litter box
> > Shouldn't leave around
> >
> > Small brave carnivores
> > Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
> > Fear vacuum cleaner
> >
> > Want to trim my claws?
> > Don't even think about it!
> > My cries will wake dead.
> >
> > I want to be close
> > To you. Can I fit my head
> > inside your armpit?
> >
> > Want to go outside.
> > Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
> > Let me back inside!
> >
> > Oh no! Big One
> > has been trapped by newspaper!
> > Cat to the rescue!
> >
> > Cats meow out of angst
> > "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
> > We could break so much!"
> >
> > Litter box not here
> > You must have moved it again
> > I'll go in the sink.
> >
> > The Big Ones snore now
> > Every room is dark and cold
> > Time for "Cup Hockey"
> >
> > We're almost equals
> > I purr to show I love you
> > Want to smell my butt?
> >
> > ***********************
> >
> >       Dog Haikus
> >
> > I love my master;
> > Thus I perfume myself with
> > This rotten squirrel.
> >
> > I lie belly-up
> > In the sunshine, happier
> > Than you'll ever be.
> >
> > Today I have sniffed
> > Twelve dog butts. I celebrate
> > By licking your face.
> >
> > I sound the alarm!
> > Paperboy! He'll kill us all!
> > Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
> >
> > I sound the alarm!
> > Garbage man! He'll kill us all!
> > Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
> >
> > How do I love thee?
> > The ways are as many as
> > My hairs on the rug.
> >
> > My human is home!
> > I am so ecstatic I have
> > Made him a puddle.
> >
> > I Hate my choke chain.
> > Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
> > Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
> >
> > Look in these eyes and
> > Deny it. No human could
> > Love you more than me.
> >
> > The cat is not all
> > Bad--she fills the litter box
> > With sweet Tootsie Rolls.
> >
> > Dig under fence--why?
> > Because it's there. Because it's
> > There. Because it's there.
> >
> > I am your best friend,
> > Now, forever, and always
> > When you are eating.
> >
> > You may call them fleas,
> > But they are far more--I call
> > Them a vocation.
> >
> >
>