In a message dated 6/8/00 8:07:55 AM EST, [log in to unmask] writes:

There were other jokes but I've forwarded them before, so here are the newer
ones--EJ


<< >                   THREE
 >
 >  A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
 buys
 > a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door
 > she finds him in the arms of a redhead.  Well, the blonde is really angry.

 > She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
 overcome
 > with grief.  She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
 >
 >  The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."  The blonde replies,
 >  "Shut up, you're next!"
 >
 >                   FOUR
 >
 >  A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.  She proudly
 > says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."  A friend says "OK, what's
 the
 > capital of Wisconsin?"  The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy:  W."
 >
 >                    FIVE
 >
 >  What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
 >  "Is it mine?"
 >
 >                   SIX
 >
 >  A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
 she
 > managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was
applying
 > fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.  "My God!" the trooper
 gasped.
 > "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant.  Are
 > you OK ma'am?"  "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped."  Well,
 how
 > in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the
wrecked
 > car.   "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the
 >   blonde began.  "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere
 this
 > TREE pops up in front of me.  So I swerved to the right, and there was
 > another tree!  I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree!  I
swerved
 > to the right and there was another  tree!  I swerved to the left and there
 > was ...."  "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a
 > tree on this road for 30 miles.  That was your air
 >   freshener swinging back and forth."
 >   >>