Rick,

hang in there brother.  I went through it myself 18 years ago.  No PD then
though, but it was still very, very unfair.  I felt like a mouse that the
cat caught,  chewed almost to death - released .... allowed to run a few
feet and the.. BAM!  Back into the jaws of death.  This continued until she
got a new ex to torture.  Then it was like I was a long lost friend.

I know what it can do to you on the inside.  I hope you have good people
around you.

You take care,

David Meigs
[log in to unmask]
----- Original Message -----
From: "Rick Barrett" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, September 23, 2000 12:02 PM
Subject: PD, Divorce, and child custody


> Hi folk,
>
> I am a 38 year old man with PD (dx at 31). My wife of 11 years decided to
> divorce me and began those proceedings about 16 months ago. We have two
kids
> - a boy, age 6, and a girl, 20 months.
>
> I am over the bitterness of my wife wanting to divorce me, but she insists
> upon taking the children away too. Her approach has been to use my PD
> against me. It would be one thing if I was a danger to the children, but I
> am still functioning quite well. I have only recently retired from my job.
I
> live along and manage quite well. My kids get to visit me every other
> weekend and two evenings each week. I have taken them camping, fishing, to
> children's parties and participate in school functions etc. I enjoy being
> "Mr. Mom."  However, sometimes I don't feel well enough to drive or do
fine
> motor skill tasks like sewing an arm back on a stuffed animal. I explain
to
> my 5 year old "sometimes daddy is a slow-poke, but I will get to job
done."
>
> Unfortunately, my soon-to-be ex-wife has seized on my condition and was
> successful in getting a judge to rule that I should not be allowed drive
> with the kids in the car. I tried to explain to the judge that it is
because
> I know when I should not drive that makes me a safe driver. My doctors
agree
> that the only restrictions that should be placed on my driving are those
> that I place on myself. I have never had a ticket nor been involve in an
> accident. Nevertheless, I lost that battle. As it stands now I can drive
> across the country (I recently returned from a roadtrip vacation of the
> western US), but I cannot drive the kids 10 blocks to get an ice-cream or
> replenish the diaper supply. It feels like I am under "house arrest."
>
> If that were the end of it I would "deal with it" and get on with things,
> but now my ex is claiming that she worries about the safety of the
children
> when they are with me. While there is no justification to this, I am
> concerned that I cannot keep up the fight indefinitely. As of last week my
> ex-wife's legal fees were in excess of $67,000!
>
> My situation (disabled father, seeking visitation / custody with minor
> children) seems to not only allow discrimination but invites it. I want to
> spend as much time as possible with my children while I am still strong.
>
> A few questions...
>
> Is there anyone else in a similar situation?
>
> How does one convince a court or anyone else that as a PWP that I can
manage
> my illness and that just because there are times when I refuse to drive
> should not infer that I cannot drive?
>
> Are there any advocacy groups out there who might be helpful?
>
> Any advice would be appreciated.
>
> Thank you,
>
> Rick Barrett