At 11:24 AM 10/9/00 -0400, you wrote:
>ubject: non pd:A poem about my day
>
>Well said , I have been there many days. I find that when i eat cheese
>products I can be off for up to three hours no matter how nuch meds I take.



> >When the meds wear off
> >
> >First I feel uneasy
> >like a hurricane is brewing off the horizon
> >or that I know there is something wrong
> >that I can't put my finger on
> >
> >then begins the game of Russian roulette
> >what body part is going to quit working this time?
> >Usually it's my right hand, which is the first betrayer,
> >curling up, and strumming my shoulder
> >
> >but sometimes it's the right leg
> >foot curling up and in
> >legs bouncing around
> >like fish on dry land
> >
> >I notice my right eye won't open
> >and my mouth doesn't work
> >mumbles come out instead of words
> >and saliva builds up,
> >to drool down my chin like I'm 1 or 100
> >
> >as my body slowly freezes
> >my mind comes alive
> >screaming fight or flight warnings
> >to a body whose forgotten survival instincts
> >even older than consciousness
> >
> >as the mind yammers and stammers its warning
> >the body goes quietly numb
> >and I silently wonder
> >how could I be so dumb
> >
> >after two years of this shit
> >you would think I would learn
> >take your meds on time
> >or this is what you become
> >
> >but when the meds are working
> >I feel so much like me
> >not this shaking drooling idiot
> >that's all the world can see
> >
> >and when I take the meds
> >in 15 min, 30 tops
> >the mask that hides the real me
> >back in place does drop
> >
> >but sometimes I sit and wonder
> >what part of my body has quit working
> >that the meds hide from me
> >and where will my mind go
> >when the meds can no longer set me free
> >
> >bob armentrout copyright 2000
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