----- Original Message ----- 
From: janet paterson <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2001 4:32 PM
Subject: via sandy's parkie porch...


> How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
> 
> 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
> hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
> 
> 2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
> 
> 3) Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior-princess@O..
> 
> 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
> that.
> 
> 5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
> 
> 6) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
> 
> 7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
> their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
> 
> 8) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS".
> 
> 9) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
> 
> 10) Don't use any punctuation
> 
> 11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
> 
> 12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
> 
> 13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
> 
> 14) Sing along at the opera.
> 
> 15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
> 
> 16) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds
> all day.
> 
> 17) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
> because you're not in the mood.
> 
> 18) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
> 
> 19) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" 3rd time
> this week!!!"
> 
> 20) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
> "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
> 
> 21) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to
> have to let one of you go."
> 
> janet paterson: an akinetic rigid subtype, albeit perky, parky .
> pd: 54/41/37 cd: 54/44/43 tel: 613 256 8340 email: [log in to unmask] .
> snail mail: 375 Country Street, Apt 301, Almonte, Ontario, Canada, K0A 1A0 .
> a new voice: the nnnewsletter: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/janet313/ .
> a new voice: the wwweb site: http://www.geocities.com/janet313/ .
> 
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