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To:   parkinsn listmembers
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      barb patterson <[log in to unmask]>
From: janet paterson <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2001 13:57:36 -0400
Subj: held messages on parkinsn listserv
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hi all

the following messages (replicated below)
to the parkinsn list are being held for 'review'
despite my written and telephoned queries:

10:03 2001/09/16 perspective
15:55 2001/09/16 Re: perspective / criss-cross
16:10 2001/09/16 perceptions of confrontations:
re-re-post
19:42 2001/09/16 Re: New Member and a Nightmare
14:42 2001/09/17 Re: perceptions of confrontations:
re-re-post
10:03 2001/09/18 ambushed?
13:36 2001/09/19 Re: Getting Parkinsn Back on Topic
21:47 2001/09/19 NEWS: Man 'unaware' of criminal
harassment
13:39 2001/09/20 Re: perceptions of confrontations:
re-re-post

as things stand at this moment
i think i have to face the fact that the parkinsn list

has in fact changed direction and policy
during the recent change in ownership

as things stand at this moment
i no longer want to participate

as things stand at this moment
this medium no longer contains the message i want to
send or to hear

sadly
janet


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Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2001 10:03:37 -0400
Subj: perspective
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ground zero is not the truth

clarity is gained from distance from conflict from
confusion

sometimes the distance is time
i.e. 60 years since one fanatic planned and
perpetrated
more than 5 million human deaths

we are and always have been more than our bodies
no-one has been or has ever been sacrificed
sacrifice is impossible

while we are here
we keep getting the message
till we get it



============================================================
Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2001 15:55:01 -0400
Subj: Re: perspective / criss-cross
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GWP1 wrote:
>the following is taken from:
>http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/overview/oshaag.htm
>"Cigarette smoking is responsible for more than
>430,000 deaths each year, or one in every five
>deaths. Paralleling this enormous health toll is
>the economic burden of tobacco use: between
>$50 billion and $73 billion in medical expenditures
>and another $50 billion in indirect costs."
>
>It would seem as if the tobacco industry provides
>the means by which over 400,000 U.S. residents die
>every year. I suppose the difference is that these
>casualties chose their fate.


criss-cross posted 09-16-2001 03:45 PM

the tobacco question also includes:

1. vast financial gain on the part of our governments
(aka we the people) in the forms of taxes and gainful
employment in the tobacco industry and its satellite
industries

at the cost of

2. concealed scientific evidence of addictive
qualities
throughout the tobacco industry's history, in order to

protect such gains

how much choice does an addict really have
in the face of such sanctioned sales pressure?

what does the term 'blood money' really mean?

janet
the muller


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Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2001 16:10:52 -0400
Subj: perceptions of confrontations: re-re-post
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Post: 067938
Date: 19 Sep 1999
Subj: perceptions / list kefuffle: re-post
------------------------------------------------------------

hi all

in going back digging for that rose lane quote
i came across this
it all sounds eerily familiar

janet

------------------------------------------------------------
Date:  1997/07/14
Subj:  perceptions / list kefuffle
------------------------------------------------------------

dear cyber-siblings

for those who don't know me very well
i use the term 'siblings' consciously and deliberately
this group has great importance to me as an extended
family

i live on an island with a population of 55,000
[ed. note: until december 1997]
and have never met another parkie
[ed. note: until january 1998]
let alone a support group
so 'you lot' are it

since october 1995
when i was privileged to join this ethereal family
i have:
posted daily at times
posted infrequently at times
lurked for months at a stretch
all depending on my own circumstances and my own
energy levels

i deal with parkinson's disease [pd]
as well as with clinical depression [cd]
and at times, i think cd is the harder battle

when my thinking
is bright and clear
my sense of self is strong
my sense of humour is at its goofiest
my inherent natural joy in life is in top form
and my tolerance for the actions of others is at its
most generous

when i am caught
in the Grey Cloud [GC]
of Clinical Depression [CD]
or other Similarly Laden Internalized Modes of
Expression [SLIME!]
my thinking becomes
consistently negative
my sense of self is muddied
the joy in life doesn't exist
[and never did, and never will return]
there is little in this wide world and dark to laugh
at
and there are very few people out there
[a] who are worth my attention and
[b] who would ever feel i was worthy of their
attention

this kind of murky thinking grows slowly and
insidiously
and feeds on itself in a slippery downward spiral

i know it intimately

the hardest work i've done in the past few years
is learn to recognize it
for what it is

once i realize what's going on
a little crack appears in the overhead gloom
and then it's 'just' a matter of consciously working
at reversing the downhill slide by whatever means
necessary

for me
the epiphany
in this struggle was
suddenly learning that i had a choice in my emotional
reactions

that these dank cobwebby veils of negative emotion
were hanging all around me
because i allowed them to

that is not to say
that i'm 'guilty' of causing my own murk

rather
i comprehend that i have a conscious choice
and in using that choice
there is strength

our society's brain-washing-staining includes a
chronic tendency
to look at things through a lens of confrontation

life and its challenges are tackled
from the narrow perspective of
either / or
all or nothing
my way or the highway
if something's wrong, someone must be blamed
and on and on

from a distant viewpoint
i believe this approach results
in global confrontations like bosnia, belfast, et al

from a close viewpoint
i believe this approach results
in personal problems like family estrangement

i know that intimately too

i have an inherent distaste for any kind of censorship
and would resist any attempt to restrict
my own voice

where am i going with all this?

voice -
i demand the right to my own voice

choice -
i can choose how i feel and react to individuals and
their actions

confront -
all of society [including me] are conditioned to
confrontation

if my re-actions are coloured by my negative choice
then i'm doomed to confrontation and censorship
as coping techniques

if my re-actions are coloured by my positive choice
then the conditioning comes under question
and voices are heard

i had a hard time
wrapping my brain around the idea
that i have a choice in how i react to things
including how i react emotionally;

this helped:

---------------------------------------------------
as novices
we think we're entirely responsible for
the way people treat us

i have long since learned that
we are responsible only for
the way we treat people

rose lane
---------------------------------------------------

i think this concept has been wonderfully demonstrated
by the incredible people on this list
in the range of re-actions posted
in regard to jeanne's message 'get a clue'

jeanne was obviously 'spilling' a lot of anger and
frustration

as a 'receiver' i could have reacted with:

anger, and interpreted her words as
out of line and insulting; or

fear, and interpreted her words as
a personal attack; or

acceptance, and interpreted her words as
her opinion, nothing more, nothing less; or

empathy, and interpreted her words as
her expression of frustration;

whatever;
but it is my choice now
i am no longer at the mercy of the tempest

no person or thing can 'make' me feel anything
my emotions are my own

i can choose to see the cup as half empty
and worry about what i don't have
or
i can choose to see the cup as half full
and enjoy what i have

it's still the same cup
but my outlook is not

i can choose to see jeanne's or ken's or whoever's
messages
as annoying or as communication
they are still the same messages
but my outlook is not

i can choose to see the volume of messages on the list
as an overwhelming burden or as generous sharing
the volume is still the same
but my outlook is not

janet

------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.geocities.com/janet313/wordspie/199909/067938.html




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