Virginia, I haven't had a husband in a nursing home, but have several
relatives that meant a lot to me. Out of three placements in nursing
homes, only one was what I call homey if that fits. No one I think were
expected to leave it for a home. At least those that worked there were
receptive to the needs of the patients most of whom were elderly or
confined by  degenerative conditions. My Grandmother was in this one.
They certainly made every effort to give them all a chance to take part
in the on going events that the activity director planned on a daily or
weekly basis plus all who worked there seemed to be cheerful. Other ones
that are in my Seattle area were mediocre to bad when we visited them.
My mother and I looked at several that had *good* reputations and all
but the last one had lingering odors or people rolled out in wheel
chairs in the halls or front no matter what time of day. The choice we
had to be make that day so my Aunt could leave the hospital. We knew the
importance of frequent and unannounced visits to observe. During one
early evening visit my Aunt told me she had waited all day to be bathed.
When I went up to the desk they didn't act as if they knew who she was.
I asked to talk with the charge nurse who came in from her dinner
annoyed that I had bothered her. If I hadn't insisted that she have her
shower and a young male can who knew her said he would stay on to give
her this she wouldn't have had one at all I know. It always is a concern
if to complain means worse treatment and whether the rough treatment she
said she had was because we did. Without any proof we could only report
it to the patient representative and to the State. Twice she was locked
out of the building after visiting hours and not missed even though the
door had to buzz when it opened any time of the day. My family did the
best we could visiting most days, trying to make sure her clothes didn't
disappear which they did, but how about the ones who never had anyone
come? Someone talked about dignity. I think that this is the main
disagreement I have in what can and often happens to dignity when one
has to enter a rest home/nursing home. I am not sure that it has a lot
to do with what kind of income one has either. It has more to do with
the amount of staff, its rapid turnover, their pay and the training
required. But, without close supervision of how the staff acts, and how
the patients are treated, it is only a way to make a living for the
owners especially if they are not directly involved in its operation. I
may give some credence to the over worked nursing staff and under manned
other help in the facilities, but if they don't do the job that they
were hired to do and do not like what they do, then they should find
another occupation. Anyone who is a pwp or a cg knows the critical need
to have their medication taken regularly within a small tolerance. I am
not sympathetic to any staff when it is about medications not being
given on a schedule that is important rather within the "guidelines of
time" that Medicare allows. I have long thought that it is cruel to keep
people alive just "because" when all quality of life has gone with
little or no hope it will return. Yet I may be only one of the few who
cry in the wind making little difference in the general idea that life
is sacred. Strange to think that sacred denotes value huh?

----------------------------------------------------------------------
To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask]
In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn