Hospice Can Make A Difficult Situation Bearable
Editor's Note: November is National Hospice Month. There are a number
of hospices in the Parkland. This story profiles one family's
experience with the not-for-profit HospiceCare, Inc.
By DONNA HICKMAN\Daily Journal Staff Writer
SOURCE: Park Hills Daily Journal, MO
WWWeb: http://tinyurl.com/4r8cj

Monday, November 22, 2004

They called him, "Mr. Terrific," because whenever you asked Darrell
Green how he was, he would always, say, "terrific."

"That's just the kind of guy he was -- always upbeat and positive,"
said his wife Kathryn.

But it there was nothing "upbeat" about the diagnosis he received on
Nov. 11, 2003.

"He'd had six hours of surgery and the cancer was on his liver and
just everywhere," said Kathryn.

"The surgeon told us at the time of the surgery there was no hope for
recovery," said Cindi Thurman, Green's daughter.

And so, for months, the family took charge of caring for Darrell --
his wife, daughter Cindi and daughter Debbie Holt. They had a great
deal of support from their church family and it was their pastor who
first mentioned hospice.

"I wanted it to be Darrell's decision," said Kathryn. "I didn't want
him to think I'd given up because you know that's what the general
public thinks when you call in hospice -- it's like 'this is it!'"

Tammy Bracken knows that feeling well. She is Director of Public
Relations, Fund Development and Volunteers for HospiceCare, Inc., the
not-for-profit and spiritually based hospice the Greens called.

"People think we're like the angel of death," said Bracken. "And it
shouldn't be that way."

Hospice is designed to help a terminally ill person and his family
plan for the final phase of life and cope with the dying process.
Sometimes, a patient may have hospice care for years before death.
But the standard requirement for a person to receive hospice service
is the diagnosis of a terminal illness that, if left to run its
course, will likely result in death in six months or less.

Darrell made the decision to call in hospice in late May and after
that, Kathryn said he seemed to get better because he'd gotten over
that hurdle. So had she.

"It was a relief for Mom, I think, because it wasn't all up to her
anymore," said Debbie. "When Dad had a fever and she wondered whether
she should be concerned, she could check with hospice."

A social worker met first with the Greens to lay out the plan. A
chaplain would visit every Monday. A nurse would come by three times
a week.

"I had worried we would lose our privacy, but we didn't," said
Kathryn. "It was like having an old-fashioned housecall."

They say nurse Donna Spain brought a calming spirit to what for them
was a very emotional time.

"She was decisive and we needed that," said Debbie. "Dad asked her if
she could make sure he was not in pain and she told him she could.
She kept that promise."

Bracken explained the goal in hospice care is to keep the patient
free from pain, but as coherent as possible.

The family would keep the nurse informed about what was happening
with Darrell. She would reassure them.

"I'll never forget when Dad couldn't talk to us and his blood
pressure was high, we called her at 3 a.m.," said Cindi. "Donna said
very calmly, 'your dad is telling us he's uncomfortable' and she told
me what to do. She could make our father comfortable when we couldn't
and that was priceless. Another quality I liked was her empathy --
she cried with us."

And Donna developed a genuine like for Darrell that the family
noticed and appreciated as his illness worsened. On Oct. 12, when it
seemed likely Darrell would not live much longer, Donna arranged to
stay with the Greens long beyond her usual visit. In the early hours
of Oct. 13, he died with Donna at the foot of the bed as Kathryn read
his favorite scripture aloud, Psalm 139. His daughters were on either
side of him.

"He was at home with people who loved him," said Kathryn of the
husband she married when she was 16 years old. "We had a wonderful 47
years together. Hospice helped us give him the death he would have
wanted."

A month later, the family sat at a Farmington restaurant talking over
their hospice experience with Tammy Bracken. They spoke with
appreciation for what they considered to be care that went beyond
what they'd expected.

"We think of hospice as being up to the point of death, but after
Daddy died, Donna was still helping us by calling the funeral home,
taking the medications away and cleaning up his room," said Debbie.
"She called for the oxygen tank to be removed and the hospital bed. I
hadn't thought about all of that."

She was carrying out Kathryn Green's wishes.

For a year after his death, HospiceCare will continue to care for the
family Darrell Green left behind through bereavement care that
includes support groups. Kathryn has already pledged to become a
HospiceCare volunteer.

"Our volunteers are an important part of HospiceCare," Bracken
explained. "Some duties a volunteer might perform would be to keep
the patient company by just sitting with them, reading to them or
listening to their concerns. They might run errands like picking up
medical supplies or groceries or help provide support to the patient
and other family members."

To find out more about volunteering, contact Debbie Thomas at 431-
0162 or 1-800-876-0162. HospiceCare, Inc., located on the campus of
Mineral Area College, is the oldest and only not-for-profit hospice
in the area. Most insurance pays for hospice care, but because the
agency is not-for-profit, no one is turned away because of his
inability to pay.

Even residents in a nursing home can have hospice services. Hospice
serves people with all kinds of life-threatening illnesses like
cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and congestive heart failure.

Based on current trends, it's projected more than one million U.S.
patients will receive hospice this year.

For more information, visit http://www.hospiceinfo.org or call
NHPCO's national helpline at 1-800-658-8898.

"I cannot imagine going through the death process without hospice,"
said Cindi. "They made a terrible situation bearable."

SOURCE: Park Hills Daily Journal, MO
WWWeb: http://tinyurl.com/4r8cj

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