Dear Nancy,
Is your son willing to be cloned?  David


>From: nm <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: Parkinson's Information Exchange Network
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: On being defined by our name/kids adapting and our loosing
>them to         adulthood and loosing ourselves to disease while not giving
>in but         accepting change
>Date: Sun, 11 Jun 2006 06:11:50 -0700
>
>well I must have one heck of a kid! although he is not perfect, he is now
>in his early 20's and in med school. I pray I get to see him graduate and
>finish his residency.
>My husband and I couldn't wait until our son was 16 because that way he
>could drive to and from school, the grocery store, the ER and such places.
>His best friends father was a physician who I am sure probably spoke to him
>at times about patients and their lives.  His teachers also did the same. U
>see I stop driving at age 36 or so. I couldn't drive because I would
>constantly pass out. My husband thght I should drive short distances but I
>didn't want to kill anyone while driving.
>Our son is caring and when he was applying to college I explained that he
>needed to enjoy life like a regular kid. He explained to me that to him his
>life was normal and whatever anyone experiences as their life is normal to
>them.  He went to UR and ended up a very mature young man to this day.  I
>have listened to kids his age and I think perhaps it isn't that they are
>selfish , but they may think of a belief that isn't our belief thus deemed
>selfish or wrong.
>This child has taken me to the ER, doc appts., movies, dinner, ect.  The 3
>of us have had so much fun as well as turbulent times, however, to see him
>fulfill his dream makes us very happy. NO I didn't tell him to become a
>doctor. No one in the family is an MD. He watched the adults in his life
>which happened to be mostly doctors, nurses, teachers, custodians,
>basically medical and school personal.
>WHat gets us upset when adults assume that all teens are alike.  One
>medical school administrator had the nerve to ask our son if he volunteered
>at a hospital or something like that. community service hours. I thght.
>jeezszzeee, he had 3 jobs as a junior, took care of his mom, help make sure
>the house was care for and bills were paid on time, cooked dinner, did the
>wash, shared the grocery shoppping, took some college level courses while
>going to prep school and ur asking did he volunteer? He would leave at 7 AM
>and get home at 6PM , cook, cleanup, do homework , blah blah.  His senior
>year would go back to school to work on audio or go to work, and then get
>home at midnight (3 months).  I am glad he didn't go to that med. school. I
>don't want that type of an adult mentoring a future doctor- A cookie molded
>approach I thght.
>
>My point is don't give up on ur teens.  U will find they understand more
>than u think. They know what it feels like to feel as if noone is listening
>or be on a restrict schedule set by someone else. I guess the feeling of
>the lost of control over their lives and trying to find what their new role
>in life is.
>
>nancy m/ohio
>---- Beverly Bashe <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > Those are wise words, David.
> >
> > Your comment, "...they don't understand illness," is very appropriate.
>It
> > reminds me of a story.
> >
> > Years ago, a friend of mine, Anne Marie, went to the hospital after
> > suffering a relapse of breast cancer.  She didn't want to tell her 4
>teenage
> > children (3 girls, 1 boy), fearing that she'd make them worry.  Anne
>Marie
> > was the ultimate mother.  The children were musical geniuses.  Anne
>Marie
> > used to take them on the train into Manhattan at 5:30 a.m. each day to
>go to
> > the Manhattan School of Music.  She was totally devoted to them.  When
>she
> > realized that the travel time was inhibiting their friendships, she
>brought
> > them to the private school that I was teaching at in our home town.
>Anne
> > Marie, even though she was in pain and getting no help from her doctors,
> > volunteered as an aide at the school, including in my kindergarten
>class, so
> > that the 4 children could go there at a reduced tuition.  She was one of
>the
> > dearest people in the world, even tempered, sweet, intelligent,
> > articulate...I really can't say enough about her.  On Saturday, she'd
>bring
> > the kids back into Manhattan for music lessons.
> >
> > When she went to the hospital, I would see her every day after school.
>She
> > asked me what to say to the children, because her heart was breaking .
>I
> > told her that she must, absolutely tell them the truth and give them a
> > chance to deal with it.  I also said that no matter what she would say
>to
> > them, their imaginations would have been making it worse.  She followed
>my
> > advice, brought them in the next day, told them everything...and you
> > wouldn't believe what they said to her: "Oh, is that the problem?  We
> > thought you didn't love us anymore."
> >
> > After all she'd done for them, been to them, shown them her love, this
>was
> > what they'd collectively come up with.  Can you imagine???  Anne Marie
>was
> > stunned, as was I when she phoned and told me of their conversation.
>This
> > taught me a lot...especially not to second guess what kids were
>thinking,
> > because it probably would not be what actually was in their minds!
> >
> > As to your advice to let him be "the bad guy," excellent!  My goodness,
> > David, you're "right on," in my humble opinion.
> >
> > Bev  cg David 70/59/31???
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "DAVID LEWIN" <[log in to unmask]>
> > To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > Sent: Friday, June 09, 2006 10:01 AM
> > Subject: Re: On being defined by our name
> >
> >
> > > Dear Elizabeth,
> > > There is no reason to panic.  Living with a teenager is usually very
> > > stressful.  Right now you should think about taking care of yourself.
>I
> > > am
> > > a parent of several teenagers and I too had the shock of my wife
>driving
> > > me
> > > away and trying to turn my children against me.  Teenagers are very
> > > self-absorbed, they don't want to be caretakers, they are afraid of
> > > illness,
> > > they do not understand illness.  They just want to have fun.  As my
> > > sixteen
> > > year old son said, "Your illness is ruining my childhood."  If your
> > > daughter
> > > wants to live with her father, don't fight her on this.  You say you
>live
> > > close to your ex-husband.  Good.  Let him be the one who fights with
>her
> > > when she comes home at 2 o'clock in the morning.  Let your husband be
>the
> > > one who is upset when she takes the car.  Be the refuge for your
>daughter
> > > when she rebels against his authority. Let him be la bete noire. Look
>to
> > > your future and your needs.  She'll come back to you when she's older
>and
> > > wiser.
> > >      David
> > >
> > >>From: El Che <[log in to unmask]>
> > >>Reply-To: Parkinson's Information Exchange Network
> > >><[log in to unmask]>
> > >>To: [log in to unmask]
> > >>Subject: Re: On being defined by our name
> > >>Date: Fri, 9 Jun 2006 04:05:35 -0400
> > >>
> > >>Hello,
> > >>
> > >>I am more afraid about the new ways of speaking about PD as a
>psychologic
> > >>disease or addiction symptoms resulting of agonist effects...  After
>years
> > >>of studying "physical symptoms" the new trends seems to look on the
>size
> > >>of
> > >>"psychological effects" or in a view with Parkinson Disease is a
>"demence"
> > >>as some people say in France.  I just come back in Canada (Quebec)
>from a
> > >>trip in my family in France and I could tell you that people with PD
>are
> > >>not
> > >>open like us in North America  to tell openely they have PD.  Because
>the
> > >>diseases relatives to a brain disorder is viewing as "suspect" and it
>is
> > >>sometime a shame in a family to have one person having that.  It's
>almost
> > >>like MST diseases...Disease from my point of view is not a bad word...
>a
> > >>disease, in particular with physical symptoms like mouvment disorders
>is
> > >>a
> > >>"clean disease" because it is not something "bad" that  you did to
>have it
> > >>(ex. AIDS should be more problematic to announced it around a table in
>a
> > >>business lunch or at work.  And please, I understand and compatise
>with
> > >>people who had any diseases, I just took AIDS as an example to make a
> > >>point:
> > >>  disease  that we could speak about and, not be proud to have it of
> > >>course,
> > >>but not be ashamed too.
> > >>
> > >>Until now I was very open to talk about PD around me but now I begin
>to
> > >>feel
> > >>more nervous, anxious...
> > >>
> > >>My personal preoccupation is people using PD effects on humor or even
>not
> > >>be
> > >>a "stable person because you have tremor and in a nervous situation
>you
> > >>are
> > >>shaking more and more"...to destroy the confidence in the PD person...
>as
> > >>I
> > >>recently divorced, my ex-husband still plays with the words about "my
>PD
> > >>and
> > >>volatility effects" and my daugther, who was very close to me younger,
>is
> > >>now closer to him as he is a very stable person !  I don't know
>exactly to
> > >>explain me but I hope you could understand that I am afraid to lost my
> > >>daugther.... I am a good mother and still coult take care on her....
>but
> > >>they began together lifing about somes mistakes I should make... and
>after
> > >>that said some words, but still in a joking way, about my driving way
>(I
> > >>"take" sometime the corner to close and a wheel jump a little bit on
>the
> > >>sideway)  but I am driving prudently and I am not a "public
>danger"....but
> > >>as my daugther became "a little bit afraid to be in my car", she
>prefered
> > >>taking the bus or having his father taking her....inch by inch, day by
> > >>day,
> > >>my ex-husband maid some points and I am not in a good position to
>fight
> > >>with
> > >>him.
> > >>
> > >>The worst for me now is that they told me recently that maybe next
>year,
> > >>as
> > >>she has now 14 years old, she could decide to live full time in his
>house.
> > >>Legally divorced just last december, we had the "garde partagée"
>which is
> > >>one week for her to be with me, one week with him.  We live closer and
> > >>even
> > >>if it is not the best way of living, I could not imagine my life
>without
> > >>ma
> > >>daugther at home, even if she is in a bad mood.
> > >>
> > >>So, I do not want to cry on my condition but I needed to tell that...
>With
> > >>the hope to have some understanding in that place, maybe some of you
>had
> > >>passed by a same way and tell me or give me some hints to do or things
>to
> > >>avoid.
> > >>
> > >>Thanks anyway for having reading me until the end :-)
> > >>
> > >>Elisabeth
> > >>
> > >>_________________________________________________________________
> > >>Vous cherchez une maison? Visitez Sympatico / MSN Immobilier
> > >>http://mamaison.sympatico.msn.ca/Immobilier
> > >>
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