Patti

I have been following your suggestions.  There is no reason why I can't at 
least get this started right.   I will use computer to make signs.   Today 
went better.  thanks to everyone's input and support  I have regained the 
upper hand (I think).   I will  create a Household Handbook.   I will still 
look into a replacement.  I don't want to trade one bad helper for another, 
however.
thanks so much
Ray

Rayilyn Brown
Director AZNPF
Arizona Chapter National Parkinson Foundation
[log in to unmask]

--------------------------------------------------
From: "PATTI ZAPF" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, December 27, 2009 10:30 AM
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: Help!! Advice needed re caregiver

> my suggestion is you get the book : MAKING THE GOLDEN YEARS GOLDEN, BY 
> EVA MOR
> She outlines several suggestions about caregivers and one of the  biggest 
> challenges of finding and keeping one.
> She suggests you switch them out.  I know this is scary, alot of work, 
> and training, but Eva says there is a burn out on caregiving.
> It makes sense, as your caregiver has had the same routine for 5 years 
> with you.  Maybe more work, with less money.
>
> I don't know, at times i think caregiving is a thankless job.  Unless  you 
> have Parkinson's, you can't feel what the patient is feeling, only  notice 
> how it affects them daily.
>
> Sort your dirty clothes for her.  Label each basket on how you want  them 
> washed, with directions.  Add a sign to the dryer, asking sorted  clothes 
> not be dryed together.  Maybe she just doesn't remember how  you want 
> things washed and dryed...  Maybe she is thinking about all  the other 
> things in her life she needs to do, while taking care of you.
>
> trying to be helpful,
> patti cg 16
>
>
> On Dec 26, 2009, at 8:47 PM, rayilynlee wrote:
>
>> Hi NK and fellow Parkies and CGs:
>>
>> I've had company the last few days and unable to  do computer work.   I'm 
>> completely worn out.
>>
>> I'm also having problems with my "caregiver".  For sometime now she  has 
>> been very annoyed and angry with me for my voice problems.    Because I 
>> am not screaming bloody murder she assumes PD is like  getting old.   If 
>> I raise my voice she reacts like I am angry with  her even though I have 
>> explained that I "strangle" when I try to  speak.   I typed her a message 
>> on the  computer this week.  The  trouble is she is not a very smart or 
>> sophisticated person and is  not going to change.  She will never 
>> understand Parkinson's.
>>
>> I'm putting this message on the PIEN in an effort to get advice from 
>> everyone.
>>
>> There are other problems too (last Christmas she threw out my  mothers 
>> ashes), the destruction of my clothes with lint, wrinkles,  putting white 
>> and dark colors together is reaching a critical mass  and she denies any 
>> responsibility and she told me I should  buy  different kinds of clothes. 
>> She left me for over an hour at the  manicurist while she ate lunch last 
>> week.  I don't mind her always  eating on the job, but this was too much. 
>> She never answered her  phone when the proprietors called her several 
>> times.
>>
>> She lives with her daughter, son-in-law and is part-time babysitter  for 
>> their 3 young children.  They both work for Southwest Airlines  and she 
>> never knows what day she will work for me.  She has a hectic  life and I 
>> try to accommodate her.  I store her things in my extra  closets for her.
>>
>> Any suggestions would be appreciated.  She has good qualities and it  is 
>> not easy to find someone.  She has worked for me for  5  years.     In 
>> the beginning I made a list of chores and left her  alone.
>>
>> These problems have grown - as my PD has gotten worse.  the clothes 
>> thing happened a few at a time.  eating on job has increased -  she  used 
>> to take  me out to eat and I bought her meals.  not answering  her phone 
>> is a few instances at a time.  Not wanting to make a big  deal out of 
>> little things, they have accumulated.
>>
>> Ray
>>
>> Rayilyn Brown
>> Director AZNPF
>> Arizona Chapter National Parkinson Foundation
>> [log in to unmask]
>>
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>> To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: 
>> mailto:[log in to unmask]
>> In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: 
> mailto:[log in to unmask]
> In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn 

----------------------------------------------------------------------
To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask]
In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn