This morning as I was watching one of the last of my hair strands make
it's lonely way down to THE DRAIN I said to myself..."good morning handsome
and how are we this morning?" {what is this WE s...?} This could be a real
problem so before we [Thare IT is again..WE...I've been reading an old Zane
Grey novel and they really say things like "Thare" as in " thare it is
again"so all you frustrated school teachers can put your red pens away
because I don't make spelling errors... you thought i was going to plant
one right here.. Didn't you?] Where was I? oh ya In the shower.Please go
back to line 3,word 8..before I start singing "OH,What a Beautiful Morning
Oh what a beautiful day. I got a beautiful  feeling every thing is going my
way.."etc Can you picture all of us starting the day off with such a song
.why..sales of Prozac and other anti depressants would fall off,,Wall st
would drop 1000 points, drug firms would lay off thousands, world hunger
would ensue and G.M.and Ford and what's the other one
would put on fund raising benefits for starving Hollywood
actors,singers.etc.Millions would be diagnosed as suffering from
depression, sales of prozac etc would soar etc,etc.So to avoid that lets
talk some more about depression. The Digest has shared a lot  about it
lately so here is my 2 cents worth about depression and other popular
Digest issues.

   Depression...Let me digress for just a moment...A resent article in
BRAIN caught my attension.Maybe you read it..."Effects of levodopa.and
viscosity on the velocity and accuracy of visually guided tracking in
Parkinson disease."..."...viscosity on the velocity..." YA tell me more.
    One more digression and I'll share my thoughts about depression..Every
one knows about BINTI?       The gorilla that saved the young boy's life at
the Chicago Zoo. Remarkable, wouldn't you say? The downside is that several
people, including "Experts" felt that Binti exhibited a lot of
"human"characteristics, like "compassion". What a load of crap!Why do we
[ops] have to devalue what Binti did by atributing it to a "human trait"
With the exception of you and me when was the last time you saw "human"
compassion.HEADLINES...Man buries litter of pups and leaves them to
die...Pups mother digs them up alive and is seem licking them....Mother Cat
dashes into blazing building many times to save her new born litter. She is
badly burned herself but is seen licking the young offspring.When I finish
this brief posting I"m going to speak with my local represenative and ask
her to submit a bill to the Mass. House of Reps authorizing that Binti be
appointed as head of the Mass.Dept of Social Services.Local Zoos would
become foster homes run by good gorillas and the current DSS staff could
work on the banana acquisition task force or retire with full benifits.If
you haven't already deleted this posting you will surely realize that
having an animal directing a branch of govt.is not a new idea. Have you had
cause to call some politician a horse's arse?[See previous note re:Zane
Grey].And what about all the donkeys and elephants who are taking T.V.time
away from all the reruns we could be enjoying these past 2 weeks.Makes me
want to spit! BINTI for President!
                           SERIOUS STUFF BELOW
............................................................................
...........................   DEPRESSION If you haven't experienced it you
will in all likelihood.It makes the rounds and knocks on each of our doors.
Much like Santa Clause's evil twin.We experence it in different ways. Some
feel it as a low throbbing constant that has been there as long as they can
remember...others feel acutely and their wailing and their tears are
available.For some it is a genetic or/and chemical fault line...others feel
it as a reaction to some loss or being told some lousy news like,
you,George,have Parkinson disease. This is called a reactive depression.
Some people are able to address their feelings and grieve. These are the
lucky ones.Some only experience pain of some sort in their limbs or organs.
These folk deny being depressed and denial is a good initial defense
against an overwhelming piece of news but their bodies are crying out and
some time or other they must acknowledge their pain. Some people seek
relief via various medications...others medicate themselves with alcohol
and other street drugs.Still others talk about it. They are the lucky or
the smart ones.

   For me depression has been a life long companion, never far from my
awareness,but put aside for a while by my workaholic style. MY first job at
age 8. First in my family to earn a collage degree..only one to receive a
masters degree.First to own a home ,first to own a brand new car ,to travel
to Europe, to live with a "significant other"but I coulda ben the Champ!
Something always cut the edge off my senses.I could have picked up a PhD,
traveled wider, learned to dance, could have married...You know...Get a
life! But I was always had what is known as Melancholia. The kind of
depression that resides in my bones. I kept it at bay by working a lot and
achieving many worthy goals and had good relations as a son,a brother,a
friend,a colleague, a professional, a member of the community.Fourteen
years ago I was given a diagnosis of PD. I had a life-long famiilial tremor
which was progressive so when I was told that I had PD I wasn't surprised
but boy was I surprised! And two years ago when I had to give up work at
age 56 I was DEPRESSED.
   SO what to do...As a clinical social worker in a mental health setting I
had learned a great deal about depression from my clients.AFter a period of
being bummed and angry I came to understand that depressed people are very
often really honest with themselves.We don't b.s.our selves, a spade is a
spade.I tried to embrace the depression, make it a friend.Then I focused on
improving my nutrition, getting enough of the right kind of
exercise,learned about medications and took responsiability for them.
worked at improving my relationships;and continued to fiddle with fringe
treatment experiences.... nothing really weird...rather read a good book..
IT wasn't easy, no one told me it would be.Shortly after I left work I was
hospitalized for a month following a major freezing episode.That was
depressing.Some time before that I had to stop taking sinemet because the
side effects were severe,really unrelenting.That was depressing.Took a 6
month holiday from sinemet which proved to be helpful.Couldn't enjoy my
usual activities...like cooking and walking in snow-storms.
    And then along came a Pallidotomy in August of 1995 and things really
improved and I was able to resume many activities but I was unabe to return
to work.In a e-mail conversation with Dr.Alterman of NYU he noted that
85-90% of cases  a unilateral pallidotomy is sufficient. But I'm
bilaterally impaired. my untreated side is progressingly worse and the meds
are not doing their thing.so I looking at the surgical options and here is
where I need your wisdom.Do I go for another pallidotomy? The first one is
holding up well. Or do I go in the direction of Deep Brain Stimulation[DBS]
I've heard much via this fine group.I'll be sending another message
re:serious stuff in a day or two and I will outline my understanding of
both options and perhaps you will wish to comment.THANKS for listening.
   My very best
     George Lussier  [log in to unmask]


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