Hello Parkinson List Members!

I am "rejoining" the list after almost a year.  I am looking forward to
gaining much knowledge and advice from this list regarding how to care for
and cope with a family member who lives with Parkinson's.

Some background:  my 68 year old father-in-law has had Parkinson's for 25+
years now.  The disease caused him to retire from his own electrical
business at a very young age.  His wife took over as sole caregiver until
her death from lung cancer last December.  My FIL has always been a very
demanding and selfish person and my MIL put him first in everything.  (She
HAS to be a saint in heaven now!)  My FIL became almost like a selfish,
spoiled child because he's always been the center of attention and never
had to put the needs of others before his own or follow any of the rules.
After my MIL's death, my FIL obviously wanted to stay in his own home as
long as he could.  We noticed a great amount of confusion and
hallucinations developing.  We of course attributed a lot of things to the
recent loss of his wife.  However, my MIL was the one in charge of her
husband's medications - to the point where she administered them hourly (or
whatever the case may be) and he never had to worry about them.  Now we
observed that since HE was in charge of taking them on time, right amounts,
etc., that he may NOT be taking them correctly.  He began to be forgetful
and ended up taking too much and too often.  A home healthcare nurse was
hired for a month or so to come in and stay with him during the evening and
overnight hours as this is his most difficult time.  He needed assistance
getting ready for bed and was always worried about an emergency occuring
during the night - so this took care of that.  It was then decided that the
big 2-story house needed to be sold and my FIL would move into a nursing
home.  He would have a large suite-like private room in a brand new wing
and would be able to have a microwave, refrigerator, etc., etc. so  that
the move would afford as much of the privacy he was used to as possible.
He knew that his wife had wanted him to go to this particular nursing home
and his window faces the Senior Highschool across the street where she'd
worked for years.  In the beginning he had all the priviledges of home that
he was used to.  He came and went on the local bus system or with family
and friends.  He had his own checkbook, credit cards, etc., did his own
banking, grocery shopping, etc.  The medications were being dispensed by
the nurses and he seemed to get "back on track" and have a lot of "up"
time.  Then it all started to deteriorate.  He would leave the nursing home
and not check out, he'd "lock up" in the mall or someplace and the police
would be called, he would try to rewire his stereo, t.v., etc. and would
refuse to surrender the sharp tools to the nurses, he would hold
conversations with his wife and swear she was in the room.  One evening he
ordered pizza and when it came - he had no money.  He said his wife would
pay for it!  He would let his phone ring and not answer it - saying his
sister (who has been dead for YEARS) would answer it.  He'd call his
children several times a day and could not be understood as to what he
wanted.  (His speech has always been really bad - and he attended therapy a
year ago and found out that if he used an alphabet chart and pointed to the
letter each word began with, it slowed him down considerably and we could
all understand him perfectly!  He used this as a magic trick and would only
apply it when showing friends and family and then refused to use it!  He's
just very stubborn and self-absorbed.)  He was attending an adult daycare
at another nursing home for a short while - and then they kicked him out as
he was too hard to handle.  They said he would take off and try to get out
of the transport van while it was moving, etc.!  He set fire to 2
microwaves and started calling 911 because he was hallucinating.  We had to
take away the microwaves and the telephone as well as control of his own
money as he would go shopping and not have enough money and would refuse to
leave the store without all of the mechandise!  At one point, the store
manager put it on HIS credit card just so he'd be happy and leave!  He
tries to run away and escape.  He constantly falls down and hits his head -
resulting in stitches sometimes and recently a broken arm.  My husband took
him to Kansas City to a specialist and they admitted him for a week for
evaluation and tried to regulate his medications, etc.  No real changes
occurred.  He is now at the point that he is very hard to control and won't
listen to the nurses or family members.  He still hallucinates quite a bit
and is constantly trying to get away.  The nursing staff is afraid he'll
break a hip next and that will be the beginning of the end.  My husband and
his siblings are VERY frustrated and are desperate for answers.  They are
even considering taking away the medication that gives him his mobility so
that he's more controllable.  HELP!  Any suggestions from any of you as to
what could be done would be SO helpful!  It is very tiring and frustrating.
 They don't want to take away what little freedom their father has left,
but it is becoming a major problem for the nurses, children, and even HE is
his own worst enemy!  We are afraid the nursing home will be the next to
say he has to leave!

I hope this doesn't sound uncaring or cruel - it's a very abbreviated
version of the last year or so.  We are searching for guidance and hope to
gain some new information from this list!

Thank you so much!  We look forward to reading the information this list
provides.

Tammy Gargano
Iowa