Barbara,you being my favorite writer I had to read bellow....

Barbara Mallut wrote:
>
> Camilla.....
>
> You commented: " Facing PD daily--alone--is an act of such courage"
>
> In my opinion, facing PD alone... as in the case with we singles having the
> disease ... is NOT an "act of courage."  It's just "life." The COURAGE part
> enters into the picture with what we DO with our respective lives while we go
> through the course of our day-to-day existence.
>
> Just because we're single doesn't mean we're FURTHER handicapped, as tho
> "being single" itself was ANOTHER disease on top of the PD which we're forced
> to live with.  Ain't so!  It doesn't take any particular act of "courage" to
> live one's life as a single person.  In fact, all things considered, Camilla,
> SOME might think that it takes LOTS more "courage" to be MARRIED <grinning> or
> in a couples relationship than it does to be single!
>
> Being single doesn't mean we wakeup each day confronted by some terrible
> bogeyman named "SINGLE, "who's just waiting to pounce on us and hound us
> throughout the rest of our day.  And being single with PD is the same.  IF I'm
> conscious about the PD, almost always it's ONLY the PD-related that I think
> about.  And every once in a while the two... having PD and being single..
> converge just as having PD and other things that happen in my life do upon
> occasion.
>
> Being single is generally NOT simply some terrible "accident" that just
> "happened" to those of us who are single.
>
> BECOMING single for me was MY "act of courage."  It was a CONSCIOUS CHOICE
> fourteen years ago, after a twenty year marriage to a man who'd ill-treated me
> emotionally, while at the same time committed such acts, for monetary gain,
> that earned him a spot on TV's "60 Minutes," PLUS an arrest, while having
> three nervous breakdowns during the ten year time span in which these events
> took place (I cannot believe I've encapsulated all those sad years and awful
> events into a few brief sentences...) <staring blankly at monitor for a few
> moments in reflection>.
>
> Being single was a welcome RELIEF to me.  The struggle to support my then
> young teenaged daughters with no alimony or child support was a relief
> compared to being wealthy and married as I'd been.  Permitting myself to
> FINALLY grow up and mature was a relief.  And rediscovering that I was an
> attractive and desirable woman who was capable of loving anew and BEING loved
> in return was also a relief... and a joy.
>
> Above all, recognizing that I liked and trusted most men DESPITE what I'd been
> thru at the hands of ONE man, was my "act of courage above all others."  In my
> years as a single woman, I've come to understand and treasure the fact that
> men in general are "just people" like myself, facing the same things in life
> that I face - whether good or ill - and that only the man I was married to was
> the anomaly.
>
> Finally, being single, in middle age, is not my choice any longer.  Being
> single and desiring to be married or part of a couple WHILE having Parkinson's
> (or any chronic disease) IS perhaps an act of courage, because one faces
> rejection, BUT... let's face it.... even THEN it's not the intrinsic core of
> ones self... our "heart" that is being rejected, it's only... ONLY the disease
> that is.
>
> I might take it personally if what I liked best about myself was rejected
> outright.... but the PD?  Rejected?  Well HELL... I reject it TOO (like IT
> cares?) <rueful smile>, so how can I fault another for doing so?
>
> Barb Mallut
> "Lil_Honey" on the PD Chat
> [log in to unmask]
>
> ----------
> From:   PARKINSN: Parkinson's Disease - Information Exchange Network on behalf
> of Camilla Flintermann
> Sent:   Saturday, January 11, 1997 6:55 AM
> To:     Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN
> Subject:        Re: a strange thing response
>
> To Margie, Beth, and other single PWPs--your comments are, of course, right
> on target....while we who are CGs protest that out kids(adult ones, too) don't
> really get the picture, we at least are not "al-one". If family/friends are
> strongly into a level of denial , as seems the case with Marling's son at
> times, we can at least have some hope of educating them gradually, and we
> can speak for the PWP if advocacy is needed.
> One thing I've done as Cg for Peter lately was to write a page of notes about
> "
> where he is" at this point --activities of daily living, meds, the works. I
> was pretty frank---and I sent it to our two adult daughters(who live here)
> and his 2 brothers who are at a distance. I included them because when they
> call and ask how are you, he always says, "fine"!   I've noticed since then
> that there seems to a little more awareness of reality on the part of all
> of them.  P. was OK with my doing this, and he has now been more honest with
> them, too--so I guess it helped.  Maybe the al-one PWPs could consider
> something like this--at intervals-- to help the "Significant Others" in their
> lives be more connected?
> Facing PD daily--alone--is an act of such courage: we see it in the man
> in our support group here who made the NH video. A big hug to all of you!
> Camilla Flintermann,CG for Peter,78/7,Oxford,OH
> [log in to unmask]

As always you don't beat around the bushes(I hope it is rigth) Barbara.
We say here,Barbara you are barbarous(incredible) girl... :-)
--
   +----| Joao Paulo de Carvalho   |------ +
   |         [log in to unmask]     |
   +--------| Salvador-Bahia-Brazil |------+