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>>Hi folks-enjoy or delete-
>>
>>
>>
>>Actual dialog between a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee
>>and an anonymous user:
>>
>>
>>Techie: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
>>
>>User:"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
>>
>>Techie:"What sort of trouble?"
>>
>>User:"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went
>>away."
>>
>>Techie:"Went away?"
>>
>>User:"They disappeared."
>>
>>Techie:"Hmm.  So what does your screen look like now?"
>>
>>User:"Nothing."
>>
>>Techie:"Nothing?"
>>
>>User:"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
>>
>>Techie:"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
>>
>>User:"How do I tell?"
>>
>>Techie:"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"
>>
>>User:"What's a sea-prompt?"
>>
>>Techie:"Never mind.  Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
>>
>>User:"There isn't any cursor:  I told you, it won't accept anything I
>>type."
>>
>>Techie:"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
>>
>>User:"What's a monitor?"
>>
>>Techie:"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
>>Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
>>
>>User:"I don't know."
>>
>>Techie:"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
>>power cord goes into it.  Can you see that?"
>>
>>User:"Yes, I think so."
>>
>>Techie:"Great!  Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged
>>into the wall."
>>
>>User:"Yes, it is."
>>
>>Techie:"If you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
>>there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
>>
>>User:"No."
>>
>>Techie:"Well.., there are.  I need you to look back there again and
find
>>the
>>other cable."
>>
>>User:"Okay, here it is."
>>
>>Techie:"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the
>>back of your computer."
>>
>>User:"I can't reach."
>>
>>Techie:"Uh-huh.  Well, can you see if it is?"
>>
>>User:"No."
>>
>>Techie:"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over?"
>>
>>User:"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because
>>it's dark."
>>
>>Techie:"Dark?"
>>
>>User:"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
>>in from the window."
>>
>>Techie:"Well, turn on the office light then."
>>
>>User:"I can't."
>>
>>Techie:"No?  Why not?"
>>
>>User:"Because there's a power outage."
>>
>>Techie:"A power...  A power outage?  Ah-Hah!  Okay, we've got it
licked
>>now.
>>Do  you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
>>computer came in?"
>>
>>User:"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
>>
>>Techie:"Good!  Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
>>like  it was when you got it.  Then take it back to the store you
>>bought it from."
>>
>>User:"Really?  Is it that bad?"
>>
>>Techie:"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>>
>>User:"Well, all right then, I suppose.  What do I tell them?"
>>
>>Techie:"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
>>
>>                       ***************
>>
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