hi john

you wrote:
>... I don't think either Esther or I (should it be neither-nor??)

you have a choice of
"i don't think either esther or i..."
or
"i think neither esther nor i..."

>... but talking on the phone will definitely let us
>interact in a more direct way. Emotions are very welcome.

as little richard has been known to say
"good golly, miss molly!"

one of my 'pet' subjects in my posts to this cyber-family
has been in re communication difficulties between women and men
from the point of view that, in this culture
[north american? 'western'?] as a broad generalization,
women are more comfortable [and men are not]
in dealing with emotions/connections
and men are more comfortable [and women are not]
in dealing with assertiveness/action

>> ... maybe your own fears blinded your vision a bit
>> as you were reading about her fears ?!?...
>...Yeah, I think that's so. Emotions do strange
>things to us all, eh?...

emotions are what separate us from other mammals
they comprise the essence of our humanity
and i believe that they most frequently
are a result of instinctive cognition
rather than intellectual cognition
so they may seem 'mysterious'
at times

>> ... we can only truly learn how to love others
>> after we have learned to love ourselves ...
>... It is something you hear people say over and over again,
>but it takes time for the truth of it to "sink in" into
>our minds ...

i believe that there is frequently confusion between
'self-esteem', or 'self-love' and 'selfishness'
viz:
m. scott peck
further along the road less traveled:
"self-love implies the care, respect,
and responsibility for and the knowledge of the self.
without loving one's self, one cannot love others.
but do not confuse self-love with self-centredness."

>Isn't it strange, that we spend our lives learning
>about life? I mean, I am 28, with just over a month
>left to my 29th birthday, and I feel like I just
>have _started_ to grasp this mystery called life.

john, i've been around for twenty years longer than you
and i feel i have just started to grasp a tiny part of the mystery!

i suspect that the challenge of the mystery is
the more you learn
the more you learn how much more there is to learn!

>perhaps I am lucky to have this budding insight,
>some people do not seem to think about life at all,
>they somehow seem to take it all for granted.
>(Do I make any sense at all?)

you make a lot of sense to me
i feel that pd has been given to me as a 'wake-up' call
and forced me to take a good long look at my life and myself

a lot of people don't want to do that
because it's a lot of hard work

>Hugs to you all, and thank you for helping me.

hugs back, and thanks as well
the helping here is bi-directional!


your cyber-sis

janet


ps
i love this quote!
>  Enigma is what makes life a constant seduction.
>                                - Alisa Lowden

janet [log in to unmask]