Dear Jo,
Yesterday I visited my neuro at the hospital and met two good friends the
man is a pwp and his wife the cg.
Everytime I asked her husband "how are you doing today Peter" she replyed
"he is doing very well". All that time we sat together about half an hour
he didn`t got opportunity to asnswer me, because his wife "took over" every
time he tried to go into the conversation. I was really frustrated when I
left my friends, because I didn`t dare to tell the wife "please let Peter
talk for himself".
Best wishes
Sonia

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> Fra: Dennis Greene <[log in to unmask]>
> Til: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]>
> Emne: A posting from Jo, re: Invisibility
> Dato: 8. januar 1998 09:42
>
> Dear Jim
>
> When your letter came through the list, and Den  showed it to me, it
> was a reassuring confirmation,that I wasn't imaginating things
> myself.  I suppose that  'reassuring' isn't  maybe the best word,
> because as a result of peoples treatment, I don't feel reassured at
> all!
>
> It was amazing that your post came through a matter of hours after we
> had been discussing the very same thing.  It had occurred to me for
> some time, months, maybe longer, that people just don't  'see' Den.
> They see him but don't really SEE him.Your description of a 'Jim
> shaped blob' is sadly accurate but very true. Den doesn't have to
> shave off a beard not to be noticed by some people - he  just stands
> there and isn't seen,or worse, is seen but not acknowledged as a
> thinking , functioning, human being.
>
> That very day you wrote I ran into someone who I hadn't seen for  a
> while. Den was right at my shoulder- just standing.  She fixed a gaze
> on me  and conversed,  actively avoiding any eye contact with Den,
> (who she knew) I wondered when she was going to ask him how he was
> (not feeling that I should point out the fact) - since when I'd seen
> her in the past she would ask how he was, but it never happened.  I
> must confess that it bothered me, but Den said well 'that's how some
> people are.' I said 'why must it be?' . There are ads around  that
> promote giving sufferers of mental illness a go, you know, 'see the
> person not the problem', but people don't, you know.
>
> Some friends  of ours (he has parks)  went into a shop for a watch.
> .He asked what they had (he was dyskinetic) and the shop assistant
> asked THE WIFE, " What sort of watch would he like?"  (I ask you!!!)
> "Not one from this shop anyway,"  he said,and they left!!
>
> I know in my hearts of hearts that it is the other people's problem,
> they are uncomfortable, uneasy, etc. but  I don't feel any better,and
> I don't suppose other sufferers/carers do either. You  have touched a
> spot here.  Thank you.  I think that what is sad is that everybody
> has something to offer, and because of a disability which prevents
> some  being 'read' as they rightly should be, their life is a bit
> like being on a carousel - travelling around ( like everybody else),
> seeing the fair (like everybody else), but because you can't be
> 'seen' they don't slow it down enough to let you get off and have a
> go and maybe win at something down at the fair, and, let's face it
> everyone should be  welcome at the fair!!!
>
>         Oh yes,(good luck at the bank!!!)
>
> Jo,  CG for -
>
> *************************************************
> Dennis Greene 48/10
> [log in to unmask]
> http://members.networx.net.au/~dennisg/
> **************************************************