hi all

after a detailed discussion with a dear friend
i just realized
that i have been using the term "acceptance" incorrectly
in several on-line conversations with many of you
[dennis, charlie, george, cyber-dad-don...........]
e.g. the most recent being in a reply to claudia
and her 'early morning musings' post:

>anger / denial / bargaining / acceptance
>are the stages we all go through
>in dealing with any
>perceived loss

my not-close-enough pals,
Roget and his Thesaurus, tell me
that the primary synonyms of the verb 'accept' are:

1. receive, take, allow, admit
2. accede to, agree to, acknowledge, recognize
3. assume, undertake, take on
4. reconcile oneself to, suffer, endure***

in my use of the term 'acceptance'
i had intended none of the negative shadings of no.4.
and have concluded that a better term to properly reflect my meaning is:

'recognize':

1. identify, recall
2. acknowledge, perceive, accept, own***
3. approve, sanction
4. honour, salute

no. 2 above is the meaning i had intended
and is quite different from what may have been interpreted

whew!
isn't the english language a challenge?!

my re-evaluation resulted from a friend telling me this:
>>acceptance is also saying we can't do better.
>>ever.

my reply in part was:
>that's not what i mean by 'acceptance' at all at all...
>i don't mean the negative connotations
>attached to acceptance = suffer, endure, resign oneself to
>i.e. give in and roll over and play dead
>
>i mean accept = recognize  = be aware of, own, perceive
>i.e. face the facts as they are today
>since today is all we really have to work with
>and do the best you can with what you have
>rather than be-moaning what you don't have
>
>i certainly don't mean that all hope is lost
>not at all
>and yes
>we can always do better
>but we have to be flexible enough
>to see that new methods/priorities might be called for
>under new circumstances
>
>the pre-pd 'you' no longer exists...
[just as the teenager 'you' no longer exists]
>accepting your reality today
>does not preclude possible changes in conditions in the future
>
>sorta like getting upset and depressed about getting older
>why waste the energy?...
>
>nothing is carved in stone
>none of us know
>what is coming

sorry this is so long, siblings,
but i felt it was a pretty basic misunderstanding
that i wanted and needed to correct

your cyber-sis in synonym-land

janet

'who we are is where we have been'

janet paterson
50-9 / sinemet-selegiline-prozac
almonte-ontario-canada / [log in to unmask]