This is one where I have to put my quarter's worth in, so
let me get on my feed bucket here...umph!....there...now I
can start -

Mr. X,

Denial, anger and depression go with PD like flies go with
cows. You just aren't going to have one without the other. I
doubt that there is a single person with PD that hasn't been
where you are - yet we are here when the sun rises in the
morning, ready to do whatever we have to do to get through
another day. Why? Here's a few reasons:

*There is a very close relationship with the chemical cause
of depression and Parkinson's. I'd say there is a pretty
good chance that what you are feeling is directly linked to
the chemistry. Now let me say it one more time because you
need to hear this:

Parkinson's Disease can cause depression.

See a doctor. Immediately. If the doctor says that statement
is wrong, then leave and go see another one. This is not a
theory. It is fact. Most of us are taking something to help
with the depression, and none of us are ashamed to admit it.
Take away our anti-depression pills and hide our Sinemet and
you will be standing in the midst of some pretty funky folk.
Give them back and we can raise hell.

*Considering the alternatives, life is pretty good. I don't
know what's on the other side of being dead. I do know
what's here and there are some wonderful things to be alive
for; music, pets, wives, children, flowers, sunrises,
rainbows...you get the idea.

*I know it's hard to give up "the dream." All of us had one,
many of us still do. That magic pill, that little vial of
potion that will give us the cure is almost here. I can feel
it. I read the news reports, I study the new research and I
know, for a fact, that we are at the doorway. The irony of
my dying the day before the "CURE" is found is something I
don't want my family to face.

*And let's talk about family a moment and what happens when
suicide enters the picture. You want to talk about denial,
anger and depression? Think about your wife and what hell
she would have to face. Do you have kids? Then triple it.
Some say that because of "love" that they don't want their
family to bear the burden of having to care for a PD member.
Where is that "love" when they cry out in grief and terror
because you did yourself in? That isn't love.

*I never heard someone say, "I wish I had spent more time at
the office." You worked hard all your life and now you can
relax. Maybe you can't get to the golf course or scuba dive
or race cars. There are a LOT of people who can't. We're
happy, though. We're alive and doing things, things we think
are very important. We are involved in the world, we are on
the beaches, in the stores, we walk the halls of Congress,
we write books, we create, design, love, raise kids, cry,
fall down, get up and do it all over again.

PD is an enemy. Don't give in to him. Fight him with every
breath you take and cherish every moment you are alive.
Stand against him, stand against the darkness. This is not a
time to speak of "ashes to ashes." It's a time to hold onto
every spark of life you have within you, to celebrate
tomorrow as a new challenge, to see the sunrise and to
thanks whatever god you believe in that your heart is still
beating.

It hurts, Mr. X, to hear you talk about throwing your life
away when so many struggle every moment to keep theirs. It
hurts me to think of those we have lost that fought to their
dying breath when you find it so easy to think about giving
up.

You say you're a business man, so let's cut to the chase
here and look at the bottom line - It took me 15 minutes to
come up with a whole lot of reasons why you should NOT
commit suicide. Can you give me a GOOD reason why you
should? Well?

I didn't think so. Come out with your hands up, Mr. X. You
have a long and wonderful life ahead of you. We all do,
every single one of us.

We all get depressed, we know what you are feeling. You are
not alone, my friend. Let us call you on the phone. Join the
list and let's talk. Find someone close by who has PD. All
you have to do is reach out, like you did to Gail, and a lot
of good people will be there to hold onto you.

Just try it. See what happens.

Oh, and by the way, these people on the list saved my life
back in '94. I came real close, way too close. Three of them
pull me back from the edge by calling me on the phone. And
you know what? There were right. Life is pretty damn good,
as long as you try.

--
The Official PWP Dumpster Gang Hideout
http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/
The PWP WebRing
http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=parkie;list
The Parkinson Alliance
http://www.parkinsonalliance.net/