I remember when my mother was fighting lung cancer (regrettably, she
lost -- most do -- another dreadful disease!) someone in a support
group sang to me the words of an old Negro spiritual that was very
comforting for a CG and daughter.

Its basic message was that God only puts before you the mountains you
can actually climb.  I only wish I could track it down to share with
you.

Anyone heard of it?

-Leslie
daughter-in-law of PWP




---Janet Paterson <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Date: 27/07/97 14:08
> From: janet paterson
> Subject: Re: Hard Times
> -------------------------------------------------------
>
> hi george
>
> you wrote
> >Several recent posts to this list have been complaints,
> >not complaints about the list, but complaints about our
> >common condition, Parkinsons.  The person complaining often
> >sounds half-apologetic about his or her condiion.  Taken
> >all in all this list has well over 1000 PWP in various
> >stages of affliction, from the trembling green recruit
> >clutching for any word of assurance that things won't
> >really become as bad as rumor has it, to the grizzled
> >and battle weary veterans who know the truth first-hand.
>
> george
>
> this is a subject i've been mulling about for a long time
> during those enforced pauses when my meds have kicked out
> and i can do nothing much but rest and think
>
> i do believe that everything that happens to us
> happens for a purpose
> good or bad
> all experiences are given to us to learn from
>
> if i can accept this
> and expect life to be a difficult challenge rather than easy
> then i find my attitude changing from
> 'poor me! why is life so unfair?'
> to
> 'okay, okay... so what in heck am i supposed to be learning now?'
>
> when a couple of friends described me as courageous
> my sister's reaction made me laugh:
> she shot back,
> 'she doesn't have courage, she has parkinson's!'
>
> isn't maturity supposedly recognising reality
> and dealing with it to the best of our ability?
> and if it's a lesson
> why not make it as positive a learning experience as possible?
>
> admittedly
> my perspective on the future of this disease
> [as a relative newbie of 9 years] in 1997
> is a far cry from the 'grizzled and battle weary veterans'
> but then again, i can't predict the future
>
> why sour today with self torments about me and pd in 2007?
> i might be hit by a truck tomorrow!
> and then would have 'wasted' the joys of today
>
> >And yet, the number of posts complaining about our situation,
> >bleak as it may be, are relatively few.
> >Are we really that brave or stoical?
>
> my soapbox theories about our society's brainwashing
> now rush to the fore, again!
>
> it's not generally considered 'acceptable'
> to talk about negative emotions
> it's regarded as a sign of weakness
> not being a good sport
> not keeping your chin up
> not letting your side down
> something to be ashamed of
>
> >The Brian Collins's, Camilla Flinterman's, Charlie Meyer's,
> >.... have found a new avocation in helping all of us.
>
> i value this 'connection' more than most
> in my isle-olation
> but i also look on this 'extended cyber family'
> as a miracle of our time
> maybe this 'family' is the real lesson here
> not pd
> who knows?
>
> i know i have no regrets
> and wouldn't change a thing in the curriculum so far
>
> >The recent few complaints have concerned sleep...
> >I don't move or turn over in my sleep and more than two hours
> >in the same position (left side, right side, or back)
> >would cramp my muscles ...
>
> i've never seen this mentioned on the list before
> but it's something i've noticed as a major change in my sleep habits
> since diagnosis or since medication
> i think patricia yothers and i compared notes on this privately
> [in fact it was the core of the 'stubby log-rolling tail']
> i wonder if it's more common than just the three of us?
>
> >I said "no," except that they don't work anymore.  
> >He smiled at my answer.
>
> now this gets me a tad riled
> a condescending or bashful smile is of no use to anyone
> might i suggest getting a second opinion?
>
> it occurs to me
> that if female hormone levels
> can affect the meds or the symptoms so dramatically
> why not male hormones as well?
> i believe that we all, male and female, have varying amounts
> of all the hormones, male and female,
> as part of our individual chemical bouillabaisse
>
> >My final words, for now, concern time. If there is any
> >single symptom I would call characteristic of my PD
> >it is my altered perception of time. Time just doesn't
> >pass more slowly or more rapidly; it is just out of control.
> >"Hours creep. Days fly."
>
> the idea of days and months and years flying by
> ever faster as we get older
> i think is universal
> not due to pd
>
> if the hours creep
> all the more time to extract some sweetness out of them
> it's all around us
>
>
> with love from your syber-sis
>
> janet
>
>
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Date: 05/08/97 00:00
> From: janet paterson
> Subject: Re: Hard Times
> -------------------------------------------------------
>
> hi charlie
> welcome back!
> your report was interesting, and appreciated.
> do keep us advised of your progress
>
> >I think it is important that we bitch a little (or a lot) once in a
> >while here. I have written here about healthy and unhealthy denial
and
> >while it is not productive to wallow in our misery there are a lot of
> >times that I feel miserable and damn it, I have a right to feel sorry
> >for myself-
>
> i'm intrigued by this
> for some weird reason, i can't generate any resentment or anger
> over the fact that i have pd, and i know i'm no saint!
>
> my initial reaction was certainly terror and panic at diagnosis
> but that reaction was solely based on ignorance
> which has been dealt a terminal blow by this list
>
> >when I am unable to go some place on my own
> >when I wake up at 4 AM with muscle cramps
> >When  I watch the woman I love burdened by my lack of mobility
>
> forgive me, charlie,
> i'm really not trying to trespass on anyone's area of expertise
> but i have to ask you
> do the above comments reflect your feelings that:
> you 'should' be able to ...
> you 'shouldn't' have to ....
> and
> she's bound to feel ....
> and i 'shouldn't' ...?
> are you still struggling with acceptance?
>
> do you think acceptance might be harder for a man than a woman
> due to our societal brain/washing/staining in re
> yardsticks of worth/success/strength?
>
> how does my talking about my seeing my diagnosis of pd
> as a possible 'gift' strike you?
> loony?
> saintly?
> bizarre?
>
> here is a little christmas tale that illustrates
> one occasion of a 'light' going on in my head in re acceptance:
>
> ------------------------------------------------
> with my designer background
> i've always been a pretty picky present wrapper
> no visible scotch tape, patterned paper matching
> colour coordination to die for
>
> last christmas my sister and i were behind schedule as usual
> but this was really behind!
>
> it was christmas eve - and i was still wrapping presents
> i was indulging in a drink or two which didn't help with the drug
kick-in
> but i was also into the dreaded 'hormone freeze'
>
=== message truncated ===

==
Leslie Lillard Walden  ([log in to unmask])
h:  617-424-9126       w:  617-563-7639





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