> >
>  >
>  >One of the risks of computer ownership is having your data attacked by a
>  >"computer virus."  With this threat ever near, we offer the following
>  >comprehensive list of recent virsus...
>  >
>  >                                   << New Viruses>>
>  >
>  > Ellen Degeneres virus  --  Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC
>  > Titanic virus  --  Makes your whole computer go down
>  > Disney virus  --  Everything in the computer goes Goofy
>  > Mike Tyson virus  --  Quits after one byte
>  > Prozac virus  --  Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care
>  > Sharon Stone virus  --  Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget
>  > it's there.
>  > Lorena Bobbit virus  --  Turns your hard disk into a 3.5inch floppy
>  > Tim Allen virus  --  Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive
>  >  upon contact
>  > Woody Allen virus  --  Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a
>  > daughter card
>  > Saddam Hussein virus  --  Won't let you into any of your programs
>  > Tonya Harding virus  --  Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
>  > George Michaels virus  --  Runs its course, occasionally releasing
>  > excess data buildup
>  > Joey Buttafuoco virus  --  Only attacks minor files
>  > X-files virus  --  All your Icons start shape shifting
>  > Spice Girl virus  --  Has no real function, but makes a pretty
>  > desktop
>  > Ronald Reagan virus  --  Saves your data, but forgets where it is
>  > stored
>  > Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus  --  Searches your hard drive for old files
>  > and deletes them
>  > Sonny Bono virus  --  Just when you get surfing the web, a firewall
>  > appears out of nowhere
>  > Martha Stewart virus  --  Takes all your files, sorts them by catagory
>  >  and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your
>  > desktop
>  > Oprah Winfrey virus  --  Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to
>  > 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB
>  > AT&T virus  --  Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you
>  > are getting
>  > MCI virus  --  Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
>  > much for the AT&T virus
>  > Arnold Schwarzenegger virus  --  Terminates and stays resident. It'll
>  > be back
>  >...and the most famous recent threat...
>  >Monica Lewinsky virus  --  Deletes all logic and memory from your computer
>  >
>  >  >>
>