> Changes to the English Language
>       ===============================
> The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
> will be the official language of the European Union
> rather than German, which was the other possibility.  As part of the
> negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
> English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
> phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-
> English".
>
> In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'.  Sertainly,this will
> make the sivil servants jump with joy.  The hard 'c' will be dropped in
> favor of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
> one less letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
> troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'.  This will make words like
> 'fotograf' 20% shorter!
>
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
> possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which
> have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre that the
> horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should
> go away.
>
> By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th'
> with 'z' and 'w' wiz 'v'.
>
> During ze fifz year ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining
> 'ou' and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of
> leters.  After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn styl.  Zer vil
> be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi tu undrstand ech
> ozer.
>
> Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!!
>
>
>