One has to wonder when in the name of  "concern", and regaining personal
control, a piece of advice is given which serves to deny that control and
negate the very process through which that control can be honestly realised.
The wonder is, why does Marling's anger threaten you to the extent that you
would advise a fellow sufferer to "work through" it rather than offer
support in validating it? This echos the "stuff happens get over it"
philosophy of those still processing through the denial stage. When
accepting the unacceptable in our lives, as we watch helplessly what we can
control transform into irretrievable loss, the one thing we do have control
over is the unleashed, open and free expression of our feelings. Elizabeth
Kubler-Ross' stages of acceptance are now an integral part of mainstream
understanding.  Debate may question their accuracy, but they still give
structure to the process of accepting the loss of our health, our hopes, our
plans for future fulfillment, our very identity.  Nothing can rush this
process, but we can delay it, particularly if we avoid conscious
acknowledgement of the stages as we experience them.  What Marling has done
is publicly affirm her unyielding and adamant anger. This was an act of
formidable courage.  Anger is an empowering emotion.  By attesting to it
publicly, she in fact empowered herself.  I personally have faith in the
process of acceptance, as I have faith in the process of growth in all its
forms.  I do not need to advise someone who  is proceeding perfectly well
through this process to alter her path.  Rather, my response to Marling is
Bravo!  "Do not go gentle into that good night/ Rage, rage against the dying
of the light." (Dylan Thomas)
Barb Rager
-----Original Message-----
From: Dennis Greene <[log in to unmask]>
To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Saturday, October 17, 1998 10:01 PM
Subject: Re: Marling's outrage


>Marling,
>
>>this one is in
>>my home everyday, lives within me and I want it OUT.
>
>
>Do you really imagine anyone actually wants to have PD?
>
>How any of us chooses to deal with our Parkinson's is very much a matter of
>what suits the individual.   Each of us has to learn to deal with our anger
>at getting PD, and then move past it back into living our lives.  Some do
>this by seeing it as a gift, some by seeing it as a magnificent adversary,
>some by "making the best of things".  Reaching such an accomadation with PD
>is a sign of having regained some control of our lives.  Unmitigated anger
>is not such an accomadation - it is a sign that PD is still in control.
>
>Marling - you are a active and strong antagonist of PD.  You are also so
>angry that you recently reported wanting to spit on people who have the
>temerity to know so little about PD as to actually wish you well.   Please
>work through your anger so that, whatever accommodation you reach with PD,
>you can attack it, not react to its attacks on you.
>
>It is my hope that you see this not as a personal attack, but as an
>expression of my concern.
>
>Dennis.
>
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>Dennis Greene 48/onset 32 /dx 37
>
>"It is better to be a crystal and be broken,
>Than to be a perfect tile upon the housetop."
>
>[log in to unmask]
>http://members.networx.net.au/~dennisg/
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>