Hi Joan,
     I agree with you, it is hard to be around my mom when things are bad
for me. I know it hurts her to see me this way. She has said it would be
easier if it happened to her. When I freeze I want to get out of it by
myself. It is hard on my daughter who is still at home for another year. She
is blind, and when I fall is scares her. She says what if you get hurt, I
tell her then I get hurt, and get up and go on. I am good at catching
myself.  Janice 51/6/1.25
-----Original Message-----
From: Stan or Joan Snyder <[log in to unmask]>
To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Friday, November 13, 1998 5:40 AM
Subject: Adult Children of PWP


>Hello again: This train of thought has been on my mind constantly since
>the discussion started. My situation is somewhat the reverse of what
>adult children of PWP are dealing with, but I think that my experiences
>will perhaps shed some light on why you can't seem to "connect" with
>your parents. My mother lives with us & she is a saint by every
>definition of the word; she folds laundry, makes beds & meals when I'm
>not up to it. She would love to help more, but I often find it
>impossible to accept her well intentioned offer of a hand or a gentle
>shove to get me moving again when I freeze; preferring, instead, to
>struggle thru & do it myself or sometimes it's even easier to accept
>help from a friend rather than from my mom. I suppose that it is all
>mixed up with roles (I should be helping her instead of her helping me)
>& with how painful it is for me to have to watch her watch me.
>I have, I'm afraid left her struggling for a simple explanation that I
>just can't get out because of my drooling or ineptitude with the spoken
>words anymore. I'm sure that I've caused her more heartache by shutting
>her out rather than by allowing her to witness how bad it can get, at
>times. And, it seems that it is easier to be stoic when I must do for
>myself than to relax my guard & fall into those gentle, caring eyes &
>just let mommy take care of it-just like she did when I was little;
>sometimes, I think that would be the easiest thing in the world to
>do...but in reality, I know that I'm 47 years old with kids of my own
>that I must be strong for.
>-Joan Snyder  (47/10/8) <[log in to unmask]>
>"Do or do not. There is no try."  Yoda
>http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/snyder/page1.htm
>