You don't have to go to Hicksville to find obscure country and western titles
for a good laugh - try translating opera lyrics.... My personal favourites are:

She was a miller's daughter fair,
He was the local postman there

and (from  "The Bat"* by Strauss)

My dear marquis,
You surely will agree
To look before you leap!
                            *Der Fledermaus


Hilary Blue

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Ben McKeen wrote:
>
> These have been around a while but are still good for a laugh.
>
>   THE BEST OF THE WORST COUNTRY-WESTERN SONG TITLES
>   (Yes, these are REAL)
>
>   1.  Drop Kick, Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life.
>   2.  Get Your Biscuits In the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed
>   4.  Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.
>   5.  How Can I Miss You if you Won't Go Away?
>   6.  How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've
>        Been A Liar All My Life?
>   8.  I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life.
>   9.  I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling.
>   10. I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me.
>   12. I Keep Forgettin; I Forgot About You.
>   14. I Would Have Wrote You a Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
>   15. I Wouldn't Take Her to the Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
>   16. I'd rather have a Bottle in front of me than a Frontal Lobotomy.
>   17. I'm just a bug on the windshield of life.
>   18. I'm the only hell mama ever raised.
>   19. I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart.
>   20. I've got the hungries for your love and I'm waiting in your
>        welfare line.
>   22. If love were oil, I'd be a quart low.
>   23. If my nose were full of nickels, I'd blow it all on you.
>   24. If you don't leave me alone, I'll go find someone else who will.
>   25. If you leave me, can I come too?
>   26. Mama get the hammer (There's a fly on Papa's head.)
>   27. My every day silver is plastic.
>   29. My John Deere was breaking your field, While your Deer John was
>        breaking my heart.
>   30. My Wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
>   31. Oh, I've got hair oil on my ears and my glasses are slipping down,
>         but baby I can see through you.
>   33. She got the gold mine and I got the shaft.
>   34. She got the ring and I got the finger.
>   35. She made toothpicks out of the timber of my heart.
>   36. She's got freckles on her, but she's pretty.
>   37. Thank God and Greyhound she's gone.
>   38. They may put me in prison, but they can't stop my face from
>         breaking out.
>   39. Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart.
>   40. When you leave, walk out backwards, so I'll think you're walkin'
>         in.
>   41. You can't have your Kate and Edith too.
>   42. You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd.
>   43. You done tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
>   44. You were only a splinter as I slid down the bannister of life.
>   45. You're the reason our kids are so ugly.
>
> That's all, folks