I got this from another group I belong to. Enjoy

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> > A THANKSGIVING POEM
>  >
>  > Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep
>  > I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
>  >
>  > The leftovers beckoned -- the dark meat and white,
>  > but I fought the temptation with all of my might.
>  >
>  > Tossing and turning with anticipation,
>  > the thought of a snack became infatuation.
>  >
>  > So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
>  > and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
>  >
>  > I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
>  > pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
>  >
>  > I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
>  > till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
>  >
>  > I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
>  > With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie
>  >
>  > But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees ....
>  > happy eating to all -- pass the cranberries, please!
>  >
>  >
>  > =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
>
>
>
>  > YOU CAN OVER-DO THANKSGIVING IF...
>  >
>  > * You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses
>  >
>  > * Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy
>  >
>  > * Your after dinner moans are loud enough to signal Dr. Kevorkian
>  >
>  > * The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!
>  >
>  > * The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland
>  >
>  > * You get grass stains on your bottom after a walk, but never sat down
>  >
>  > * Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go around your waist
>  >
>  > * You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail
>  >
>  > * You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday
>  >
>  > * Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy
>  >
>  > * You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games
>  >
>  > * A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000"
>  >
>  > * That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn
>  >
>  > * Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your water bed
>  >
>  > * Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice
>  >
>  > * You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty
>  >
>  > * It looks like the left-overs are gonna last until Christmas
>  >
>  > * Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this
>
>
>  > =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
>
>
>  > DEFINITIONS FOR HUSBANDS ON THANKSGIVING DAY
>  >
>  >
>  > PLAYBOOK:  Also known as my cookbook, to be kept in plain sight at
>  > all times, if the book gets moved, the game could get ugly.
>  >
>  > OFFSIDES:  Silverware is to be set next to the plates... off to the
>  > side dear, not tossed in the middle of the table in a heap, for all
>  > to scramble for.
>  >
>  > GAME TIME:  This is when the food must all be on the table, at the
>  > same time, at the same temperature (preferably hot) so that the
>  > *teams* may meet at the arena (Table) for the coach to say the
>  > prayer.
>  >
>  > TEAM SPIRIT:  That which shall be upheld until the END of the game.
>  > When the coach (ME) has heard the fat lady sing (AUNT MARTHA saying
>  > that she's had enough to eat).
>  >
>  > COMMERCIAL BREAKS:  There will be NONE for us, until I deem them
>  > totally necessary for my sanity, when you have made me crazy!
>  >
>  > PENALTIES:  Will be given if there is no team spirit showing and the
>  > game time is DELAYED or offsides have occurred due to a certain
>  > *televised* football game engaging your attention!
>  >
>  > HOLDING:  May be necessary of several large bowls, so that I may pour
>  > gravy without staining my new silk blouse.  And keep in mind dear, I
>  > am HOLDING the clicker for the T.V. for ransom ;).
>  >
>  > TOUCHDOWNS:  Please make them gentle when bowls are being touched
>  > down on the table, do not spike them, do not dance when the mission
>  > is complete!
>  >
>  > FLAG ON THE PLAY:  When something is spilled, PLEASE by all means
>  > throw a towel down on it and mop it up!
>  >
>  > RUSHING:  What we will be doing a lot of!!
>  >
>  > and last but not least...
>  >
>  > GROOMING THE FIELD:  Dear husband, if you help me through this meal,
>  > as I know you will, I promise to RECRUIT new players for the clean up
>  > and YES... in plenty of time for you to enjoy the REAL GAME!!!
>  >
>  >
>
>  > =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
>
>
>
>  > THERE GOES THE WALLPAPER
>  >
>  > TULSA, OK (DPI) - In what is becoming more and more common on
>  > holidays here in America, an entire family exploded shortly after
>  > finishing their Thanksgiving dinner.  Investigators from the Tulsa
>  > Sheriff Department said that, while the sheer size of the meal
>  > certainly played a part in the Turkey Day Massacre, the straw that
>  > broke the gobbler's back was in fact the whipped cream on the top of
>  > the pumpkin pie.  Sheriff Bill Gutt commented, "Yep, it was the
>  > Cool-Whip what done it.  People just ain't got no common sense."
>  >
>  >
>  >
>
>
>  --------- End forwarded message ----------
>