How do you get a gleam in a blondes eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Leta



---Ben McKeen <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> OK, Darwin, you asked for it.........
>
> A POLICE REPORT
> A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car.
"They've
> stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the
> accelerator," she cried out.  However, before the police
investigation could
> start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the
line.
> "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
> =================
>
> THE BLONDE STEWARDESS
>
>    An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde
>   stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another
>   city.
>   Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place
>   for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next
>   morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he
>   noticed the new stewardess was missing.
>   He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up
>   wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying,
>   and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of
your
>   room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There
>   are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one
>   is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says "Do Not Disturb'!
>  ===================
>
> THE JOB INTERVIEW
>
>   A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all tried out for the same job
as
>   road stripers. The boss told them they would all work for three days
>   and whoever painted the most would get the job.
>   At the end of the first day, the redhead had painted 3 miles, the
>   brunette had painted 2.5 miles, and the blond had painted 10 miles .
>   The boss was so excited he told the blonde to keep it up and the job
>   was hers.
>   The next day the red head painted 5 miles, the brunette 5.6 miles,
>   and
>   the blonde 4 miles. He told the blonde not to worry you still have a
>   good lead.
>   So, on the third day the redhead had painted 6 miles, the brunette 5
>   miles, and the blonde only one mile. The boss was so disappointed,
>   he asked the blonde, "What went wrong, you were doing so good?" She
>   said, "Well, that bucket of paint keeps getting further and further
>   away."
> ==============
>    A blonde woman walks into a store.  Curious about a shiny object,
>  she   asks, "What is that?"
>
>    The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."
>      The blonde then asks, "What does it do?"
>      The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
> So she   buys one.
>
>    The next day, she brings it to work with her.  Her boss, also a
>  blonde,   asks, "What is that shiny object?"
>
>    She replies "It's a thermos."
>      He asks, "What does it do?"
>      She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
>      He then asks, "What do you have in there?"
>
>    "Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."
>
>
> ----------------------
> BLONDES!
>
>      That Girl was so Blonde :
>
>      She sent me a Fax with a stamp on it
>
>      She thought a quarterback was a refund
>
>      She tried to put M & M's in alphabetical order
>
>      She tripped over a cordless phone
>
>      She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make
>          up her mind
>
>      She told me to meet her at the corner of " Walk and Don't walk "
>
>      They had to burn the school-house down to get her out of third
>          grade
>
>      She took a ruler to bed with her to see how long she slept
>
>      At the bottom of the application where it says " sign here " she
>          put Sagittarius
>
>      When she heard that 90 % of all crimes occur around the home-
> she moved
>
>      When she took me to the airport and saw the sign that said
>           " Airport Left " she turned around and went home
>
>      Hear about the Blonde that bought an A M Radio ? It took her a
>        month to realize she could play it at night
>
>      Why do Blondes like lightning ? They think someone is taking
>               their picture .
>
>      Why did the Blonde scale the chain-link fence ? To see what
>           was on the other side
>
>      How do you get a Blonde to laugh at a joke on Saturday ?
>           Tell her the joke on Wednesday
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Ben McKeen
>
> That's all folks
>

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