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 > 'Twas the night before Christmas
 >      And all through the trailer
 >      Not a creature was stirrin'
 >      'Cept a redneck named Taylor.
 >
 >      His first name was Bubba,
 >      Joe was his middle,
 >      And a-runnin' down his chin
 >      Was a trickle of spittle.
 >
 >      His socks, they were hung
 >      by the chimney with care,
 >      And therefore there was
 >      a foul stench in the air.
 >
 >      From out in the yard
 >      There came such a noise
 >      That Bubba got scared
 >      And rousted the boys.
 >
 >      There was Rufus, 12;
 >      Jim Bob was 11;
 >      Dud goin' on 10;
 >      Otis was 7.
 >
 >      John, George and Chucky
 >      Were 5,4, and 3:
 >      The twins were both girls
 >      So they let them be.
 >
 >      They jumped in their overalls,
 >      No need for a shirt,
 >      Threw a hat on each head,
 >      Then turned with a jerk.
 >
 >      They ran to the gun rack
 >      That hung on the wall.
 >      There were 17 shotguns;
 >      They grabbed them all.
 >
 >      Bubba said to the young'uns,
 >      "Now hesh up ya'll!
 >      The last thing we wanna do
 >      Is wake up yer Maw."
 >
 >      Maw was expecting
 >      And needed her sleep,
 >      So out they crept out the door
 >      Without making a peep.
 >
 >      They all looked around,
 >      and then they all spit.
 >      The young'uns asked Bubba,
 >      "Paw, what is it?"
 >
 >      Bubba just stared;
 >      He could not say a word.
 >      This was just like all of
 >      The stories he'd heard.
 >
 >      It was Santy Claus on the roof,
 >      Darn tootin'
 >      But the boys didn't know;
 >      They was about to start shootin'!
 >
 >      They aimed their shotguns
 >      and nearly made a mistake
 >      That would have resulted
 >      in venison steak.
 >
 >      Bubba hollered out,
 >      "Don't shoot, boys!"
 >      That's Santy Claus
 >      And he's brought us some toys.
 >
 >      The dogs were a-barkin'
 >      And a-raisin' cain,
 >      And Bubba whistled, and shouted,
 >      And called them by name.
 >
 >      "Down, Spot! Shut up Bullet!
 >      Quiet, Pete and Roscoe!
 >      Git, Turnip and Tater
 >      and Sam and old Joe!"
 >
 >      "Git down from that porch!
 >      Git down off that wall!
 >      Quit shakin the trailer,
 >      Or you'll make Santy fall!"
 >
 >      The dogs kept a-barkin'
 >      And wouldn't shut up,
 >      And they trampled poor Pete
 >      Who was only a pup.
 >
 >      Santy opened his bag,
 >      And threw out some toys.
 >      Bubba got most,
 >      But left a few for the boys.
 >
 >      From up on the roof
 >      Santa heaved a great sigh.
 >      Since the guns had been dropped
 >      He just might not die.
 >
 >      He jumped in his sleigh,
 >      Told his reindeer to hurry.
 >      The trailer started to wobble
 >      Santa started to worry.
 >
 >      Just as the reindeer
 >      Got into the air,
 >      The trailer collapsed,
 >      But Bubba didn't care.
 >
 >      He was busy lookin'
 >      At all his new toys.
 >      Then a thought hit him,
 >      And he said to the boys:
 >
 >      "Go check on yer Maw,
 >      Make sure she's all right.
 >      That roof fallin' on her
 >      Could-a hurt just a might."
 >
 >      But Maw was OK,
 >      And the girls were too.
 >      They fixed up the trailer;
 >      It looked good as new.
 >
 >      And as for Bubba,
 >      He liked Old St. Nick,
 >      But Santa thought Bubba
 >      Was a pure-in-tee hick!
 >
 >      Bubba had a nice Christmas,
 >      And the boys did, too.
 >      And the Taylors wish
 >      A Merry Christmas to you!
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