View from the Lighter Side Weekly Report
Parkinsaw, MI
March 28, 1999

Welcome to Parkinsaw, MI, a certified imaginary community located in
Michigan's Upper Peninsula, populated largely by individuals stricken by
Parkinson's Disease.  Stories, locations, situations and characters are
fictitious and are presented in the belief that laughter, as music of
the soul, is God's gift to us all, and is good medicine for PD.  The
Chamber of Commerce is waiting to serve you.  Remember, all weekly
reports, and there are eight available now, can be found at the web site
www.mikeauldridge.com/parknsaw.htm

Well, friends and neighbors, it's a fine day to be out in the brush, but
this little Parky stays home today to finish his report.  Do you know
what I really dislike about PD in my case?   It's when I awake in the
morning, I know that's as good as I'm going to feel all day.  A comic
once said:  "There's no such thing as a good morning, on account of they
all begin with waking up."  Well, that couldn't be truer than in my
case.  I must be getting old;  when I was younger I knew it would be a
bad day when I woke up face down in the driveway.  Another reason why
mornings are such a shock, is that in the past 20 years I've had PD, the
disease never, ever has made an appearance in my dreams.  I just don't
have it when in a dream state.  It does not exist until I awake and then
there they are: my friends the Tremor-Boys, and their companion buddies,
Mr. Exhaustion and Mr. Slowness, all of whom stay with me until I fall
asleep again at night.  How slow am I you ask, I'm so slow that by the
time I've fixed an iced tea, the ice cubes have melted.  Go figure.
Well, the Tremor-Boys and their nasty buddies are not going to wipe the
smile off this Parky's face, even though at times it might resemble a
grimace.  Shoot! Do you know what stupid maneuver I just pulled?  With
my mouth full of hot coffee, I suddenly was overcome with an urge to
cough.  And, as I did, my hand jerked and the coffee went flying.   Now
my monitor looks like it just completed the last leg of the Baja
Off-Road race. Darn, I hate it when that happens! Well, we not only
report the news; we make it as well.  Spilling coffee might be thought
of as "grounds" for being an idiot.   Time out while I clean this mess
up, then we'll take a look at the week's happenings around here.  (A new
PWP product may come out of all this:  The Mess-B-Gone bib, for those
who consistently spill things.  Stay tuned)

First off, we've been quite busy this week with the planning for World
Parkinson's Awareness Month, in April.  The Parkinson's Information
Exchange Network had forwarded a Bulletin prepared by its members
announcing that South Africa's Desmond M. Tutu was going to help
Parkinson's Disease Sufferers world-wide by saying a special prayer for
them during a service to be held on April 11, marking World Parkinson's
Awareness Month.  Everyone was asked to spread the word by making the
Bulletin available to the local media,  and we forwarded copies of the
Bulletin to news editors at newspapers serving the Parkinsaw area, in
addition to WLUC-TV6 at Marquette.  We all felt pretty good after all
that work and went directly to the Northern Lights for a Levolager
brewsky.  For all of you first time visitors to Parkinsaw who may not
have seen the Bulletin in question, it is conveniently appended to this
report.

You remember Tom Shelton, our best-known fisherman?  Well, ole Tom has
placed the final touches on his latest invention that he calls
Bait-Buddy.  For years Tom has been complaining about the number of
minnows he's lost while fishing due to his tremor problem.  "No matter
how I fastened the darn things to the hook, as soon as I put the line
in, the shaking in my hands would vibrate the minnow right off the
hook.  I was going through 150 minnows a day. So I invented the
Bait-Buddy."  The Bait-Buddy is an ingenious device, operated by
battery, which automatically secures the minnow to the hook, using
ordinary dental floss.  The importance of using dental floss is not only
is it easily available everywhere, its odorless and colorless, and
stronger than steel.  Here's how it works: The dental floss is installed
in a special indented cavity (unintended pun), and threaded into the
main minnow compartment. Then, a hook is placed in its slot, the minnow
placed into the compartment, the minnow is gently secured in place, and
the box closed.  The button is depressed, and with a whir and a click,
the minnow is securely wrapped to the hook with the dental floss.  No
mater how severe the tremor, the minnow stays right on the hook.
Beautiful!   And, does it catch fish?  You betcha!  Tom plans to set-up
his business on the Internet and start a PWP Fishing Forum, through
which he'll market the Bait-Buddy.   He's also thinking of expanding
that new web site to specialize in products for just PWP, including the
previously described Shave n' Pooper and Be-The-Doc.

This week we noticed this personal ad in local newspaper:  "WF, 70,
w/PD,  pleasingly plump, attractive, seeks WM, tall, 60-80, intelligent,
with pick-up truck and snowmobile.  No chewing tobacco.  Need help
rolling over in bed.  Loves pizza, bratwurst, watching the Green Bay
Packers,  K-Mart Blue Light Specials, ice fishing, the new Levolager
Beer, and listening to Da Yoopers.  Must be at ease with pet pig."

Well, friends and neighbors, it's getting dark here in Parkinsaw, the
deer are restless and hungry, and, now that I think of it, so am I.
Tonight, I'm heading over to the Northern Lights microbrewery for a
bratwurst (low protein) and a couple of Levolagers.  I think the
Dopaminos are playing tonight, and I understand that prolific bunch has
a new song parody out: An Ode to Tasmar: "When Your Liver has Gone."
So, that's it until next time.  Remember not to let PD rob you of God's
gift of your smile, your laughter and your sense of humor.

John Bjork (60/20)

Here appended is the Bulletin Announcing South Africa's Desmond M. Tutu
to help Parkinson's Disease Sufferers with a prayer on World Parkinson's
Awareness Month, April 11, 1999.

***TUTU TO HELP PARKINSON'S DISEASE SUFFERERS***

South Africa's Desmond M. Tutu, Archbishop Emeritus and Nobel Peace
Laureate, Robert W. Woodruff Visiting Professor of Theology, Emory
University, Atlanta, Georgia, USA has offered to issue a prayer for all
those worldwide who are suffering from Parkinson's Disease to mark World

Parkinson's Awareness Month in April.

The Archbishop offered to write a prayer for the occasion following a
telephone conversation and a long emailed letter from Ivan Suzman,
Portland, Maine,  who has advanced Young Onset Parkinson's. Suzman, a
disabled anthropologist, (and formerly a leading anti-apartheid
activist) has become a Parkinson's activist and a member of the
Parkinson
Information Exchange Network (PIEN), an internet discussion list,
notified members of the list of the Archbishop's willingness to "do
something for those suffering from Parkinson's". Later, Tutu's office
notified the listowner, Barbara Patterson, another Young Onset"
Parkinsonian and a secretary at McMaster University School of Nursing,
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, that the Archbishop had decided that his
prayer will be issued through PIEN.  Patterson's internet list has more
than 1,800 subscribers in 36 countries.

Parkinson's Disease (PD) is a chronic, slowly progressive neurological
condition that affects a small area of cells in the mid brain known as
the substantia nigra. Gradual degeneration of these cells causes a
reduction in a vital chemical known as "dopamine". This decrease in
dopamine can produce one or more of the classic signs of Parkinson's
Disease.

Although an estimated 15% of patients are diagnosed before age 50, PD is

generally considered a disease which targets older adults. Parkinson's
disease affects up to 10%, in some populations, of those persons over
the age of 60. To date, there is no known prevention or cure for
Parkinson's
Disease.

Notable persons with the disease include Pope John Paul II, Muhammad
Ali American Attorney General, Janet Reno, Gandhi photographer Margaret
Bourke-White and actor Michael J. Fox.