Sure John,
Use whatever you want.  I think I have some more.  If I can locate them Ill
send them to you.
I got those from a joke list so I dont know who wrote them but if you change
them it wont matter.  Always look forward to your reports.  Really make me
snort! :(:) ) (pig smile)

john bjork wrote:

> Jennifer:  These are some of the best little puns I've heard, thanks for
> sharing them.  I'd certainly like to use a couple in the Parkinsaw stories,
> suitably modified of course.  For example, I could add Kayak Races to the
> July 4th Parka-Thon.  Thanks again for these clever gems.
>
> John Bjork
> "Parkinsaw, MI:  A View from the lighter Side of PD"
>
> Jennifer Smith wrote:
>
> > ------------------------------------------------
> > Word Play
> > ------------------------------------------------
> >  Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in
> >
> > the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your
> > kayak and heat it too.
> >
> >  Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
> > became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
> > never amounted to much.  The second one, naturally,   become known as
> > the
> > lesser of two weevils.
> >
> >   Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.
> > One
> > says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are
> > you
> > sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
> >
> >  Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain
> > during root canal work?  He wanted to transcend dental medication.
> >
> >  A group of chess enthusiasts checked in a hotel and were standing on
> > the
> > mezzanine above the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
> > After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them
> > to
> > disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said,
> > "I
> > can't stand chess nuts boasting over an open foyer."
> >
> >  A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to
> > eat. He came across two men.  One was sitting under a tree reading a
> > book;
> > the other was typing away on his typewriter.  The lion quickly pounced
> > onthe man reading a book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle
> > knows readers digest and writers cramp.
> >
> >  There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.  He sent in
> > ten
> > different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
> > Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
> >
> >  An Indian goes to a psychiatrist.  "Doc, I keep having these
> > alternating
> > recurring dreams.  First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a
> > teepee, then I'm a wigwam.  It's driving me crazy.  What's wrong with
> > me?"
> > The doctor replies:  "It's very simple.  You're two tents."
> >
> >  A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
> >
> > family in Egypt and is named "Amal".  The other goes to a family in
> > Spain;
> > they name him "Juan".  Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to
> > his
> > birth mother.  Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that
> > she
> > wishes she also had a picture of her other son. Her husband responds,
> > "But
> > they're twins--if you've seen Juan, you've  seen Amal.
> >
> > Just for fun! :-)



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