Gee, Ken, sounds like you got into one of the top airports - just try to
imagine what the poor ones are like.
Bob Anibal
----- Original Message -----
From: KEn Becker <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, June 15, 1999 1:24 AM
Subject: Re: Travel No More/Beaten - Long Piece


> Gina, good for you, you finally MADE it, even though the odds were against
> you. I have disliked flying since the first time I stepped on a plane and
sat
> for three hours while they decided it was not safe to fly and told us they
> were switching us to another plane! I am always glad to be back on the
> ground. Airports, at their best are horrible heartless places filled with
> uncaring people selling goods at highly inflated prices.  There are
> exceptions, maybe one in a million!  The pilots are overworked, the air
> controllers are treated like research mice, deprived of sleep and made to
> work too much overtime. The cabdrivers are mostly rejects from reform
> schools, or desendents of Ali BAba and his 40 thieves.  The parking was
> designed by morons who think that walking in the rain or freezing wind, or
> broiling sun through an unending maze, up steep ramps, leading to dreary
> filthy elevators, is great sport!
> The security checkpoints are designed to purposely cause unstable people
to
> lose their composure, by humiliating, browbeating and inconveniencing
them,
> and delaying them to the maximum for having the audacity to carry some
> clothing in a piece of luggage.  And NOW their favorite toy is a small
window
> you must try to stuff your items through, which is at least two inches
> smaller than most luggage made today. They delight in sending you back to
the
> counter to force you to send what you wanted to carry with you, to the
team
> of demented  gorillas who fling each item into concrete walls to see if
they
> can pop the locks open and make your personal items spew  onto the tarmac
> before it even gets near the plane.  Oh, yes the tiny trays they make you
> empty your metallic items into, before they subject your body to enough
xrays
> to weld your beltbuckle to your zipper, is designed to let some items fall
on
> the floor, so they can watch you try to retrieve them as other travelers
walk
> on your hands.  They are trained to laugh at you in many foreign
languages,
> except whatever you happen to speak.  It is not all bad, you CAN get a
burnt
> hamburger with hot grease dripping out of the bun, often for under $20, if
> you skip the beverage. For a few dollars more you can get grease soaked
> french fries with extra salt, if the equipment is not out of order.  After
> dinner time, say 4PM, you may not be so lucky, as many of the fine eating
> establishments close.  Then you may only get a nice warm beer, in a paper
> cup, for what a 6pack would cost at home.  Airports are usually clean, if
you
> use the restrooms that are not out of order, at the other end of the
airport,
> they are ALWAYS slopping a mixture of disinfectant and VERY slippery soap
on
> the tile floors.  If you don't appear to lose your footing, they often try
to
> trip you with a mop handle, just for fun!  I do know that all the managers
in
> airports,and especially the ones that work for the major airlines are well
> trained. They ALL have the same little phrase books to study. Like a
talking
> doll, they can say: 1: I'm sorry, I cannot help you with that." 2: I'm SO
> sorry, that's not MY job." 3: MR/MS _______ is in charge of THAT, and
HE/SHE,
> is on a break,or at lunch,  please wait here, until one minute before you
> flight departs...... Am I making this up? No way, I am NOT Dave Barry, and
I
> am NOT making this UP!  Gina's experiences were TYPICAL! To answer
anyone's
> question before they ask: YES, I would rather DRIVE, or take a BUS, or  a
> TRAIN, or a SHIP, than fly!
> Ken B