IVAN!
i love it, I love it, I love it!!!!

Ivan M Suzman wrote:
>
> Clare,
>
> :Here are the answers MY friends would give to the
> "Real guy's test":
>
> Ivan
>
> On Sun, 1 Aug 1999 06:06:24 EDT Clare Wilson <[log in to unmask]> writes:
> >A GUY'S   TEST
> >
> >Note:  All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions.  Knowing
> >this, women will have come far in understanding men and enriching
> >their own lives by reviewing this material.
> >
> >1.  Alien beings from a highly advanced socieety visit the Earth,
> >and you are the first human they encounter.  As a token of
> >intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small incredibly
> >sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease,
> >providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger
> >and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence
> >all over the entire earth.  You decide to:
> >
> >A.  Present it to the President of the United States
> >B.  Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations
> >C.  Take it apart.
>
>       Present it to Barbara Streisand and Johnny Mathis, and let them
> share it around the world.
>
> >2.  When is it okay to kiss another male?
>
> C.  ANYTIME you both want to, HONEY!
>
> >
> >A.  When you wish to display simple and pure affection without
> >regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
> >B.  When he is the Pope (but not on the lips)
> >C.  When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and
> >this is the only really sportsman-like way to let him know
> >that, for business reasons, you have to have  him killed.
>
> >
> >3.  What about hugging another male?
>
> When both of you feel like it.
>
> >A.  If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.
> >B.  If you are performing CPR
> >C.  If you are a professional baseball player and a teammate
> >hits a home run to win the World Series, you may hug him
> >provided that: (l) he is legally within the base path, (2) both
> >of you are wearing sufficient protection, and (3) you pound him
> >fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures.
>
> >4.  In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
>
> One which needs your love to survive.
>
> >A.  A cat.
> >B. A dog.
> >C.  A dog that eats cats.
> >
> >5.  One weekday morning your wife wakes up feelling ill and
> >asks you to get your three children ready for school.  Your first
> >question to her is:
>
> Dear,  can I call your secretary for you, and tell her you won't be in
> today?
>
> >A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
> >B.  They're in school already?"
> >C.  "There are threre of them?"
> >
>
> >6.  As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life
> >do you miss the most?
>
> Running  shoes.
>
> >A.  Innocence
> >B. Idealism
> >C.  Cherry Bombs
> >
>
> >7.  You have been seeing a woman for several years.  She's
> >attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her.
> >One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it
> >easy--you're watching a football game; she is reading the
> >papers--when she suddenly, out of the clear bue sky, tells
> >you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer
> >bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship
> >is going.  She says she's not asking whether you want to
> >get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind
> >of future together.  What do you say?
>
> It's time I introduced you to my friend, Tyrone, so that you
> can decide how to handle your life from this point forward, dear.
>
> >
> >A.  That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future,
> >but you don't want to rush it.
> >B.  That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot
> >honestly say that you will be ready anytime soon to make a
> >lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding
> >out false hope.
> >C.  That you cannot believe the Cowboys called a draw play on
> >third and seventeen.
>
> >
> >8.  What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
>
> Putting away nuclear weapons.
>
> >A.  Democracy.
> >B.  Religion
> >C.  Remote control.
>
> ^^^^^^  WARM GREETINGS  FROM  ^^^^^^^^^^^^  :-)
>  Ivan Suzman        49/39/36       [log in to unmask]   :-)
>  Portland, Maine    land of lighthouses           deg. F   :-)
> ********************************************************************