I sure do miss Art Linkletter's "Kids Say The Darndest Things". Cosby's
takeoff on that program, while good, doesn't come close.



>  One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
>  small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked
> with a
>  tremor in his voice,
>
> "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
>
>  The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she
>  said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
>
> A long silence was broken
>  at last by his shaky little voice:
>
>  "The big sissy."
>
 ========================

>  A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the
>  first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir
>  came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles.
>
> All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice,
>
"Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you..."

 ========================

>  Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
>  School.
>
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy
>  lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he
> got to
>  the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the
> people
>  walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and
>  call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all
> the
>  Israelites were saved."
>
> "Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught
>  you?" his mother asked.
>
"Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher
> did, you'd never believe it!"
>
 ========================

>  A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother
>  that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named
>  Gladly. It took his mother a while before she realized that the hymn
>  was really "Gladly The Cross I'd Bear,"
>
 ========================
(This is an old one!)

>  A four-year-old Catholic boy was playing with a
>  4-year-old Protestant girl in a plastic wading pool in the
>  back yard. They splashed a lot of water on each other; their
>  clothes were soaking wet, so they decide to take off the wet
>  clothes. The little boy looked at the little girl and said, "Golly,
>  I didn't know there was that much difference between Catholics
>  and Protestants."
>
 ========================

>  It was that time during the Sunday morning service for "the childrens
>  sermon," and all the children were invited to come forward. One little
>  girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the
>  pastor leaned over and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress.
>  Is it your Easter dress?"
>
> The little girl replied, directly into the
>  pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
>
 ========================

>  Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms.
>  Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday
>  School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I
> made
>  ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
>
> Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't
> warned."
>
>
>
>