Tex, good advice for all of us.
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----- Original Message -----
From: double a <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, September 30, 1999 5:44 PM
Subject: Don, please read this


> Don,
> I understand both your frustrations and your pain in watching someone else
> do something you love to do, and having to hear someone tell you "it's for
> your own good"
> >From the time I was 14 until I turned 21, Don I was in a rodeo 2 or 3
nights
> each week, every  week, regardless of what was broken or whatever else I
had
> going on - rodeo was my hobby, it gave me extra spending money, and it was
a
> large part of my identity. As I broke different body parts and became
unable
> to do one event, I was just switching to other events I could still
> participate at. However, it finally got to the point I was literally
risking
> life and limb to compete and I had to stop.. Thats been nearly 20 years
ago,
> and I still can't watch rodeo for enjoyment - my enjoyment wasn't in the
> watching, it was in the doing.
>   When I quit rodeoing, I began to raise and train my own horses, and
while
> it wasn't the same, it was a challenge, and it was close to the same
> activities, and I grew to love it also. For the next 18 yrs, I raised my
own
> babies, trained them, showed them, or sold them to others to show, and I
> took a lot of pleasure in the quiet reputation I built up - a horse
trained
> at double a would be a good one who would do exactly what we told them it
> would do... and then my body began to quit on me again, and now my family
is
> telling me you don;t need to be doing that anymore, you are too old or too
> sick etc., or they are "helping me" by doing parts of the training I loved
> to do. And it does hurt to see someone else doing "my job".  My wife
> recently told a marriage councilor that she just wanted to help me, she
> needed to help me, and to keep me from falling. Its hard to accept that
she
> has a need to help, when I really don't always want her help, even thought
I
> usually need her help.  As I told her, there are sometimes when its better
> to let me fall, then help me up, than to keep me from falling, and making
me
> feel like a failure.
> I am telling you all this so you will understand that I DO KNOW WHAT YOU
ARE
> FEELING. Now, having said that, when I look at things from my family's
point
> of view, I have to admit they have needs too, and some of their needs are
to
> make life as easy as they can for me.  I feel sure that is part of what
> Vivian and the girls are trying to do for you.  And if we are honest with
> ourselves, we can't do as much as we use to do - the spirit may be
willing,
> but the body just wont's work like it use to.
> My suggestion for you may or may not work, but maybe this will give you
some
> ideas to think of on your own. From what you have said, you love to work
> outside, but that is getting harder. Can you start some indoor
houseplants,
> or a raised garden, or maybe start growing some transplants, and then
> letting someone else plant them in the yard for you? From the letters I
have
> seen you writing lately, I suspect you are spending lots of time thinking
> about all the things you can't do anymore, and that is OK but it doesn't
do
> much to make us happy.  How about you and I visiting and trying to think
of
> some things you can do which might make you and Vivian happy. My email is
> [log in to unmask],  my home phone is 409-563-4049, and my icq is36197573.
> lets visit and see if we can't kick the blues a little further away.  I
> evidently don't have Parkinson's disease, just the appearance of
Parkinson's
> with something else causing the damage, but I still get a lot form the
list,
> and I dont want to give up all my friends I've made here.  Please get in
> touch with me, and we will cheer each other up, OK?
> Tex