Oh Rita-- you have said what needs to be said so well--I'm sending it again
here in case anyone missed it, and also fwdg to CARE, since a few CGs don't
read PIEN and we all need to hear this.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Camilla

Rita wrote:
>Every few weeks someone posts a "do not put them/me in a nursing home" plea
>or tale.  "I promised him/her I never would"......"I don't want to go"...." I
>feel so guilty..."
>
>If you want to keep the patient at home.....if you want your family to devote
>24 hours a day to your care.......if you want your friends to take care of
>you......that is great.  Please do provide the care at home.
>
>However, "until you have walked in someone else's shoes"......please
>remember....
>and respect others for the decision to pay for a nursing home facility/staff.
> For some people, at home care with dementia is not a choice.  For some
>people, physical responsibility of a loved one 24 hours a day is not a
>choice.  Some nursing homes have wonderful facilities, wonderful staff and
>wonderful patients.  Some nursing home patients are not visited by family
>every day.......some patients have no family within 500 miles of the nursing
>home.  Some families have more members requiring care than the person in the
>nursing home.  Some patients in nursing homes would not want their family
>members to take care of their physical needs. Some nursing homes CAN deal
>with the schedule for Parkinson medications.
>
>Nursing home patients do have the freedom to move, think, speak.....they are
>warm, fed, clean and safe.  They are loved.
>
>There are as many reasons and excuses for keeping a patient at home as there
>are reasons and excuses for putting a person in a nursing home.  Please learn
>to respect those choices.
>
>Each of us will have to deal with the caring and/or dying of a loved one at
>some time in our own lives........families change, needs change, environments
>change and challenges change from day to day.
>
>Please do not make the promise to any family member "never to put you there".
>Please do not make family members promise  "to keep me at home".
>Please do not criticize families who do chose to utilize nursing home care.
>Please do not feel guilty if you are one who makes the decision to provide nh
>care.
>
>Respect and love yourself and your family...
>
>Rita Weeks, 55/10