>Date:         Mon, 13 Dec 1999 19:14:42 -0600
>From: Patrick Douglas Crispen <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject:      TOURBUS -- 14 DEC 1999 -- ELF BOWLING/CRISPEN'S SIX ANTIVIRUS
>              RULES
>To: [log in to unmask]
>...
>--------------------
>The Elf Bowling Hoax
>--------------------
>
>There is a warning floating around the Net right now warning you that
>
>      If you have received any of the following games:
>      Frogapult.exe
>      Elfbowl.exe (Frog game and elf bowling)
>      Delete them completely out of your system, as they both have a
>      delayed virus attached to them that will be activated on
>      Christmas Day and will wipe out your system, boot sector, master
>      boot record etc!!!
>      I have tested these two games on a test machine and Lo and Behold
>      - KaBoom!!!
>      If you know of anyone else who has these games, let them know.
>
>The story is yet another in a long string of Internet virus hoaxes.
>If you have installed any of these programs, don't worry -- contrary
>to what the warning says, these programs do NOT contain viruses.
>
>In fact, here is what the folks at the Symantec AntiVirus Research
>Center have to say about this hoax:
>
>      Symantec AntiVirus Research Center has received many submissions
>      of these programs developed by NVISION DESIGN,INC including
>      Y2KGAME.EXE and has all been confirmed to be free of viruses ...
>
>      Please ignore any messages regarding this supposed "virus" and do
>      not pass on any messages regarding it. Passing on messages about
>      this hoax serves only to further propagate it.
>
>You can read the full text of Symantec's summary of the Elf Bowling
>virus hoax at
>
><A HREF="http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/y2kgame.hoax.html">
>http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/y2kgame.hoax.html </A>.
>
>Now, for a quick message to the folks who actually installed the Elf
>Bowling program on their computer: WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING
>DOUBLE-CLICKING ON AN UNKNOWN EXECUTABLE FILE ATTACHED TO AN EMAIL
>MESSAGE IN THE FIRST PLACE, SILLY?!  The number one way that computers
>become infected by viruses -- let me repeat that for effect: the
>NUMBER ONE way computers become infected by viruses -- is through
>people double-clicking on unknown, executable (.exe) files attached to
>emails.
>
>You were lucky this time.  THIS TIME.  The Elf Bowling program did not
>contain a virus.  The next executable program you receive attached to
>an email message -- pics4you.exe, zipped_files.exe, and so on --
>probably WILL contain a virus.  And, unless you stop double-clicking
>on executable files attached to email messages, I can all but
>guarantee you that your computer will eventually become infected with
>a virus.  :(
>
>You were lucky this time.  Your luck can not and will not last forever.
>
>How can you protect yourself from future viruses?  Simple.  Follow these
>six, simple rules:
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>Crispen's *SIX* Antivirus Rules -- 13 December 1999
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>In light of the recent Bubbleboy and WormExploreZip virus outbreaks, I
>decided to re-rewrite my rules on how to protect yourself from
>computer viruses, Trojan horses, or worms.  Regardless of your
>operating system, these six rules should protect you from most of the
>over FORTY-SIX THOUSAND viruses that are currently floating around the
>Net.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>1. PURCHASE A GOOD, COMMERCIAL ANTIVIRUS PROGRAM LIKE NORTON ANTIVIRUS
>    OR MCAFEE VIRUSSCAN.
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>         Most commercial antivirus programs usually cost between US$40
>         and US$50 and can be purchased at almost any computer store in
>         the world.  [You can usually save about US$10 if you purchase
>         the software online -- visit http://www.shopper.com/ for more
>         information].
>
>         Antivirus program manufacturers also release minor upgrades
>         every two to three months and major upgrades every twelve to
>         eighteen months.  YOU NEED THESE UPGRADES.  Minor upgrades are
>         usually free, and major upgrades usually cost anywhere between
>         US$20 and US$40, depending on the manufacturer [think of this
>         as an expected expense -- just as you have to change your
>         car's oil every 3,000 miles, you have to upgrade your
>         antivirus software every year to year-and-a-half].
>
>         To see if any minor or major upgrades are available for your
>         antivirus program, visit your antivirus program manufacturer's
>         homepage.  A list of antivirus manufacturers' homepages can be
>         found at http://www.yahoo.com/ or at AOL keyword "virus."
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>      2. UPDATE YOUR VIRUS DEFINITIONS FREQUENTLY (AT LEAST ONCE A
>         WEEK).
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>         With over 250 new viruses being discovered each week, if you
>         don't update your definitions frequently you won't be
>         protected from ANY of the new viruses floating around the Net.
>
>         How do you update your virus definitions?  That depends on
>         the antivirus program you use.  Norton Antivirus has a "Live
>         Update" button built into the program; click on it, and Norton
>         automatically downloads and installs the latest virus
>         definitions from Net.  McAfee VirusScan has a similar update
>         function (go to File --> Update VirusScan).
>
>         If you are unsure of how to update your virus definitions,
>         visit the homepage of your antivirus software manufacturer and
>         look for their "download," "update," or "technical support"
>         section.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>      3. NEVER DOUBLE-CLICK (OR LAUNCH) *ANY* FILE, ESPECIALLY AN EMAIL
>         ATTACHMENT, REGARDLESS OF WHO THE FILE IS FROM, UNTIL YOU
>         FIRST SCAN THAT FILE WITH YOUR ANTIVIRUS PROGRAM.
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>         This is probably the most important rule of them all.  There
>         are currently over forty-six thousand viruses out there, there
>         are over 2.8 trillion possible files names out there, and any
>         one of those viruses could be hiding in any one of those file
>         names.  A lot of people think that you can protect yourself
>         from a computer virus by being on the lookout for one
>         particular virus or one particular file name (hence all of the
>         virus warnings you have received in your email inbox lately).
>         That's not only silly, that's dangerous.  If you want to
>         protect your computer from viruses, you need to ignore ALL of
>         the virus warnings you receive and instead beware of EVERY
>         file you see, especially every file that is attached to an
>         email message.
>
>         It is important to note that, despite all of the warnings to
>         the contrary, there is no such thing as an email virus.  If
>         you are running the most up-to-date version of Windows (see
>         rule #5 below) or if you have a Mac, you can open your emails,
>         regardless of their subject lines, without fear of infecting
>         your computer, provided your email program doesn't
>         automatically open attachments (most don't).  It is the files
>         that are ATTACHED to emails that you have to fear.
>
>         Think of a computer virus as a well-packaged letter bomb.  You
>         can move a letter bomb from room to room in your house without
>         any danger.  Open the letter bomb, however, and you die.  The
>         same is true with computer viruses.  You could download a
>         billion virus-infected files from the Internet and receive
>         another billion virus-infected files attached to email
>         messages and your computer still wouldn't be infected with a
>         virus.  Open, or double-click on, just ONE of those files,
>         though, and your computer is dead.
>
>         Remember, to infect your computer with a virus, you have to
>         open (or double-click on) a file that contains a virus.  As
>         long as you don't open that file, you really have nothing to
>         fear.
>
>         How can you scan a file for viruses?  It depends on the
>         antivirus program you use.  The best bet is to read your
>         antivirus program's instructions or read its online help
>         section.  If you use Norton Antivirus or McAfee VirusScan,
>         right-click (or, if you have a Mac, click and hold) on the
>         file in question.  A pop-up menu should appear, and one of the
>         choices should be "Scan with ..." and the name of your
>         antivirus program.  If that doesn't work, just open your
>         antivirus program and try to scan the file from there.
>
>         Do you have to scan EVERY file, even if that file is from your
>         friends or coworkers?  Yes!  Both the Melissa and the
>         WormExplore.Zip viruses distributed themselves by opening your
>         email program, looking at either your 'friends' list or the
>         list of email addresses in your inbox, and then distributing
>         virus-infected files to everyone on that list.
>
>         In the world of computer viruses, you can't trust ANYONE.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>      4. TURN ON MACRO VIRUS PROTECTION IN MICROSOFT WORD, AND BEWARE
>         OF ALL WORD MACROS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MACROS
>         ARE.
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>         Word Macros are saved sequences of commands or keyboard
>         strokes that can be stored and then recalled with a single
>         command or keyboard stroke.  They enable advanced Word users
>         to easily accomplish what would otherwise be difficult tasks.
>         They also allow virus writers to do serious damage to your
>         computer.  For example, the Melissa virus was actually a Word
>         Macro virus.
>
>         If you use Word 97, go to Tools --> Options.  Click on the
>         "General" tab.  Make sure that "Macro virus protection" (at
>         the bottom of the list) is checked.
>
>         If you use Word 2000, Double-click on the Tools menu, point to
>         "Macro," and then choose "Security."  Select the level of
>         security you want.  High security will allow only macros that
>         have been signed to open.  Unsigned macros will be
>         automatically disabled.  Medium security always brings up the
>         macro dialog protection box that allows you to disable macros
>         if you are unsure of the macros.
>
>         With Macro virus protection turned on, Microsoft Word will
>         warn you every time you try to open a Word document that
>         contains a macro.  The warning gives you three choices: the
>         option to open the file but disable its macros ("disable
>         macros"), open the file with macros enabled ("enable macros"),
>         or the option to not open the file ("do no open").  Chose the
>         first (default) option: "disable macros."
>
>         For more information, visit the Macro Virus Protection page at
>         http://officeupdate.microsoft.com/focus/articles/o97mcrod.htm
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>      5. RUN WINDOWS UPDATE AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>         Windows is aptly named because it is full of holes.  There are
>         several, inadvertent 'open doors' (or 'security holes') in the
>         Windows operating system that *COULD* conceivably make your
>         computer vulnerable to outside attack.  In specific, a mean-
>         spirited hacker *COULD* 'walk through' one of these open doors
>         on your Windows PC and read any file on your computer, delete
>         specific files or programs, or even completely erase your hard
>         drive.
>
>         When the folks at Microsoft discover a security hole, they
>         immediately release a software patch to close it.  Without the
>         patch -- and there are MANY -- your computer is wide open to
>         outside attack.
>
>         Fortunately, downloading these patches couldn't be simpler.
>         Built into every Windows 95 and Windows 98 PC is something
>         called "Windows Update."  Windows Update is completely free,
>         but there is one catch: you have to have Internet Explorer 5
>         to be able to use it.  :(
>
>         Here is how to use Windows Update to download all of the
>         security patches Microsoft has released since your PC was
>         made:
>
>              1. Connect (or logon) to the Internet.
>
>              2. Go to Start --> Settings --> Windows Update on your
>                 PC.  This launches Internet Explorer and connects you
>                 to Microsoft's Windows Update page
>                 [ http://windowsupdate.microsoft.com/ ].  If you don't
>                 have Internet Explorer 5 (IE5), Microsoft's Windows
>                 Update page will talk you through the process of
>                 downloading IE5.  If you already have IE5, keep
>                 reading.
>
>              3. On the top left-hand side of the Windows Update page,
>                 click on the "Product Updates" link (it is the one
>                 with the hand and the red *)
>
>              4. A pop-up window will appear, telling you to wait while
>                 your computer DOESN'T send any information to
>                 Microsoft (well, that's what it says!)
>
>              5. Eventually, you'll see a page that says "Select
>                 Software."  When Microsoft releases an essential
>                 update or patch to close a security hole in Windows,
>                 they put it in this page's "Critical Updates" section.
>                 Select (or click on) EVERYTHING in the "Critical
>                 Updates" section -- you need *ALL* of the critical
>                 updates -- and then click on the big, gray "Download"
>                 arrow in the top right hand corner of the page.
>
>              6. Follow the on-screen prompts.  That's it!  :)
>
>New security holes are found in Windows every week or two, so it is a
>good idea to run Windows Update at least once a month.  The first time
>you run it, expect to see a MESS of critical updates.  After that,
>though, there should only be one or two critical updates you'll have
>to download every month.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>      6. IF SOMEONE UNEXPECTEDLY SENDS YOU AN EXECUTABLE FILE -- IN
>         OTHER WORDS, A FILE THAT ENDS IN .EXE -- THROW IT OUT.
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>         Most of the forty-six thousand viruses that are floating
>         around the Net right now are hiding in executable files.  If
>         someone, even a close personal friend, unexpectedly sends you
>         a file that ends in .exe -- or if they unexpectedly send you a
>         zipped file that contains a file or files that end in .exe --
>         your safest bet is to delete the file without opening it.
>
>         The key word here is "unexpectedly."  If you are expecting a
>         friend to send you an executable file, you certainly don't
>         need to delete that file -- just virus scan it first before
>         you open it.
>
>         However, if you are in an environment (like a home) where you
>         don't often receive ANY files attached to your incoming email
>         messages, a better rule would be: "When in doubt, throw it out
>         ... and doubt EVERYTHING."
>
>How well will these six rules protect your computer from becoming
>infected with a virus, Trojan horse, or worm?  Take a look at the
>following questions, and decide for yourself.  How many people whose
>computers were infected with the Melissa virus ignored at least one of
>these rules?  ALL OF THEM!  How many people who followed these six
>rules had their computers infected by Melissa?  NONE OF THEM!  How
>many people whose computers were infected with the WormExplore.Zip
>virus ignored at least one of these rules?  ALL OF THEM!  How many
>people who followed these six rules had their computers infected by
>the WormExplore.Zip virus?  NONE OF THEM!
>
>These six rules will not protect you from every computer virus, Trojan
>horse, or worm, but they will so significantly decrease your
>computer's chances of becoming infected that you can all but forget
>about the next virus scare and all the ones that will follow.
>
>TODAY'S TOURBUS STOP(S):
>    Elf Bowling / Crispen's *SIX* Antivirus Rules
>TODAY'S TOURBUS ADDRESS(ES):
>    http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/y2kgame.hoax.html
>
>---------------------------------
>TODAY'S SOUTHERN WORD OF THE WEEK
>---------------------------------
>
>PEEL (noun).  Small, rounded mass of medicine.
>Usage: "The doctah gave me a peel and I'm all better!"
>
>[Special thanks to "Joanne" for today's wurd]
>
>You can find all of the old Southern Words of the day at
><A HREF="http://netsquirrel.com/crispen/word.html">
>http://netsquirrel.com/crispen/word.html </A>
>
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>            .~~~.  ))
>  (\__/)  .'     )  ))       Patrick Douglas Crispen
>  /o o  \/     .~
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