In addition to what Margie expressed so well is the fact that as a team of a PWP
and a CG, we often take out our frustrations and anger at each other.  Perhaps, I
should not try to sense what a single PWP might feel and express, but I believe
that were I a single PWP, I'd explode and pick on others every chance I'd have.
At this point, I strive to ignore whatever might seem as provocations.
This list is important for a great many reasons and no individuals should
diminish that for any reasons.
Michel Margosis
'Carpe Diem'


Dick Swindler wrote:

> I don't think the oldtimers have forgotten what it's like to be scared, etc.
> I have a theory about the frequent quarrels that erupt.  My theory is that PD
> is so darned difficult to deal with that both PWP and caregivers are
> frustrated and angry pretty darned often.  Mr. Parkinson has taken up
> residence in my home, uninvited, and made my life and my husband's much more
> difficult than it has to be, and taken a toll on our patience, our family
> life, our pocketbook, etc.
>
>  There are days that I use every ounce of my patience, as caregiver, not to
> scream at the sheer difficulty of living with a PWP.  No doubt Dick is
> equally frustrated at being the PWP, with all the difficulties this entails.
> If this were a temporary condition and I knew there'd be improvement within a
> week or a month, I could grit my teeth and get through it.  But knowing that
> today is as good as it gets makes it a lot more difficult - at least on my
> not-so-good days.
>
>  There are times I can sit back and think about how fortunate we are to live
> in this country, where the medical help is so much better than if we lived
> many other places.  And to live comfortably, with all the modern
> conveniences.  I can also appreciate the fact that Dick is doing
> exceptionally well for someone who has had PD for 18 years.  I do admire his
> determination to hang in there and not let PD stop him, no matter how
> difficult some things are for him.  Nevertheless, I'm having to do things, or
> learn to do things, that I wouldn't have expected to do in the normal course
> of events.  I'm all too human, and there are times that I'm simply seeing the
> half-empty glass, and feel the anger and frustration of dealing with the
> day-to-day losses and difficulties PD has brought into our lives.  Dick faces
> having to give up control or responsibility for things he always expected to
> take care of, and I'm having to do, or learn to do, those things in his
> place, on top of the things I've always taken care of, at a time in my life
> when I'm older and have less energy and stamina.
>
> It's at those "half-empty" times that something someone says or writes is
> likely to hit me wrong, and, being unable to strike out at the uninvited and
> unwelcome Mr. Parkinson, I find myself taking my anger and frustration out on
> the hapless person who happened to cross my path at the wrong time.
>
> This has been pretty long, and I don't know if I've managed to make my point
> after all this.  I just think that we're all operating at such a high level
> of stress and difficulty at all times that we don't have the tolerance for
> each other that we'd have had in other circumstances.  I suspect we're all
> nice people underneath it all - or used to be, pre-PD.  Hang in there and
> don't let the quarrels get in the way of the very real help and support this
> list brings.
>
> Margie Swindler