hi all

i exchanged a couple of messages with a cyber-sibling
in re dr. david burns' ideas on cognitive distortion
and 'automatic' negative thoughts

the more i learn about this
the more easily i see it in me and in others

"bd" has agreed with my idea to post this to all of you
in the hope that it will help someone else

**********
hi "bd"

you wrote:
>...five years ago when i was in a sort of state of
>mental health emergency,  my counselor gathered
>both my parents and my brother and various friends
>into one room. I think i learned more in that couple hours
>than ever before,  i still in fact learn from it.

i've heard/read about this kind of 'tough love' 'confrontation'
all positive things

and you are right
the learning from our experiences is an ongoing process

we are always changing/growing
at least i hope so

i find myself re-reading some books
and getting something totally different from them
on the second or third reading because my viewpoint has shifted/expanded

>my mother...is, i believe, bothered
>by the stigmas of mental health...

this isn't limited to your mother
it's a problem in our society in general

>...i have found out years later that
>she thinks it is somehow her fault...

this sounds like one of the cognitive distortions
behind those automatic thought 'monkeys'
as outlined by dr. burns:

Cognitive Distortion Number 10:
"Personalization:
You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event
which in fact you were not primarily responsible for."

>...the problems i have had and
>has always refused to talk about them.

and this sounds like classic denial and repression
if i don't acknowledge it
if i don't talk about it
it might go away

>so now i think it is extremely difficult
>for her to look at her own situation.

when i am in the pit of depression
my viewpoint on everything is clouded by glum and darkened by fear
since i am feeling so lousy, i must be a lousy person...
and i get too frightened to explore that territory

Cognitive Distortion Number 7:
"Emotional Reasoning:
You assume that your negative emotions
necessarily reflect the way things really are.
'I feel it, therefore it must be true.'

>thanks again for your notes

you are most welcome again
i am only sorry that i've been so slow to respond

my recent med 'fine tuning'
has helped my outlook/activity level a great deal

>>did you see the collection of messages i re-posted
>>last month about depression and the family atmosphere on the list?
>>i'd be happy to copy them to you
>>if there is any chance they would help you or your mother
>
>yes i would love a copy

good!
be warned
they are on their way!

maybe this delay in replying to you was intended;
i have revised and simplified the collection of messages
after looking at them with clearer eyes this morning

>you have a very nice way of sharing things,
>i have noticed it before.

thank you for that, "db"
i consciously try not to judge anyone
but to relate their situation to some experience of mine
"there but for grace..."

much love for you and your mother

janet

**********

janet paterson
51/10 - sinemet/selegiline/prozac
almonte/ontario/canada - [log in to unmask]